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Danielle Bean

Danielle Bean
Danielle Bean, a mother of eight, is Editorial Director of Faith & Family. She is author of My Cup of Tea, Mom to Mom, Day to Day, and most recently Small Steps for Catholic Moms. Though she once struggled to separate her life and her work, the two …
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Rachel Balducci

Rachel Balducci
Rachel Balducci is married to Paul and they are the parents of five lively boys and one precious baby girl. She is the author of How Do You Tuck In A Superhero?, and is a newspaper columnist for the Diocese of Savannah, Georgia. For the past four years, she has …
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Lisa Hendey

Lisa Hendey
Lisa Hendey is the founder and editor of CatholicMom.com and the author of A Book of Saints for Catholic Moms and The Handbook for Catholic Moms. Lisa is also enjoys speaking around the country, is employed as webmaster for her parish web sites and spends time on various …
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Arwen Mosher

Arwen Mosher
Arwen Mosher lives in southeastern Michigan with her husband Bryan and their 4-year-old daughter, 2-year-old son, and twin boys born May 2011. She has a bachelor's degree in theology. She dreads laundry, craves sleep, loves to read novels and do logic puzzles, and can't live without tea. Her personal blog site …
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Rebecca Teti

Rebecca Teti
Rebecca Teti is married to Dennis and has four children (3 boys, 1 girl) who -- like yours no doubt -- are pious and kind, gorgeous, and can spin flax into gold. A Washington, DC, native, she converted to Catholicism while an undergrad at the U. Dallas, where she double-majored in …
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Robyn Lee

Robyn Lee
Robyn Lee is a 30-something, single lady, living in Connecticut in a small bungalow-style kit house built by her great uncle in the 1950s. She also conveniently lives next door to her sister, brother-in-law and six kids ... and two doors down are her parents. She received her undergraduate degree from …
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DariaSockey

DariaSockey
Daria Sockey is a freelance writer and veteran of the large family/homeschooling scene. She recently returned home from a three-year experiment in full time outside employment. (Hallelujah!) Daria authored several of the original Faith&Life Catechetical Series student texts (Ignatius Press), and is currently a Senior Writer for Faith&Family magazine. A latecomer …
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Guest Bloggers

Kate Lloyd

Kate Lloyd
Kate Lloyd is a rising senior, and a political science major at Thomas More College of Liberal Arts in New Hampshire. While not in school, she lives in Whitehall PA, with her mom, dad, five sisters and little brother. She needs someone to write a piece about how it's possible to …
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Lynn Wehner

Lynn Wehner
As a wife and mother, writer and speaker, Lynn Wehner challenges others to see the blessings that flow when we struggle to say "Yes" to God’s call. Control freak extraordinaire, she is adept at informing God of her brilliant plans and then wondering why the heck they never turn out that …
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Surrendering Our Wombs

The lesson of the Annunciation

As I’ve mentioned before, Bryan and I went through two-and-a-half years of actively trying to conceive before I became pregnant with our first child.

That waiting period was a spiritually fruitful time for me, at least by the end of it.  At the beginning I did a lot of flailing.

Writing helped, and so did corresponding by email with other Catholic women who were dealing with similar struggles.

I made one friend who had half a dozen early miscarriages during the time I was waiting to get pregnant.  (She, by the grace of God, now has a toddler and a baby just as I do.)  She and I wrote many emails back and forth, and I gained many insights from our conversations.  Years later, one of these in particular still stands out in my mind.

We can look at the life of the Blessed Virgin Mary and learn much about how to live our lives as Christians.  Christ’s mother standing at the foot of the Cross is a particularly poignant image.

But for us women, there is a special lesson to be learned from the actions of Our Lady at the Annunciation.

This is the insight my friend shared with me, one that she herself had gained in a grief-filled moment of praying to the Blessed Mother.

When the angel Gabriel appeared to Mary and told her of God’s plan for her, she gave her famous answer.  “Let it be done unto me according to your word.”  In that moment, she handed her life over to God, but more specifically, she handed over her womb.

In that instant she agreed to do as God asked her.  This would mean carrying the Son of God and watching him die on the Cross and eventually following him to Heaven, but Mary did not know that.  She assented in spite of her lack of comprehension and by doing so showcased the incredible grace of God within her.  And her journey as Christ’s mother began with that surrender of her womb.

I wrestled with the emptiness of my own womb during our waiting months, and my friend’s insight helped me to see Mary as my model in a special way.  Our fertility struggles, I discerned, were my call to hand over my womb to God just as Christ’s mother had done, to accept God’s will for me to bear children - or not - in his timing.  Praying for the grace to do that carried me through the months of our wait, blessedly short though it turned out to be.

As I’ve moved into the current stage of my life, I’ve continued to meditate on the idea of Mary at the Annunciation as an example for our lives.  All Christians are called to surrender our lives to God, but we women in a special way are called to surrender our wombs to God.  This is true for all of us, no matter what our vocations.  Women called to religious life must assent to not bearing children; married women on all parts of the fertility spectrum are called to assent to God’s will for us as well, whether it means we will bear a dozen children or none at all.

Today, on the Feast of the Annunciation, we have Mary as our model in that task.


Comments

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What a lovely reflection, Arwen, thank you for it. Do you know Denise Levertov’s poem, “Annunciation”? It’s a meditation on Mary’s courage I’ve always liked.

This is an unusual image. Whose is it?

 

Thanks Arwen,  I really needed this today.

 

Rebecca, the image of the Annunciation is by a Russian Orthodox artist named Mikhail Nesterov.  He died in 1942.  I had never heard of him but found the image on Wikipedia and really liked it.

 

I cannot say thank you enough.  This piece really put how I have felt for the last 4 years, beautifully into words.  Thank you.

 

Well said, Arwen.  Surrendering is hard to do, but I have to believe that God has some sort of beautiful plan that He will unfold.

 

Thank you Arwen,
Mainly for allowing the Holy Spirit to speak to me through your post. I really needed to hear this.

 

We went through similar struggles before conceiving our now two-year-old including surgery and multiple miscarriages. Our daughter will be 3 in July, our son will be 2 in September and our newest son will be delivered May 7.

I took much comfort in the Biblical stories of Elizabeth, Rachel and Hannah that God did not punish me with infertility (this was after the many months of wailing and gnashing of teeth, to be Biblical about it) but was using this time to teach me. As it turned out, the month I prayed that God’s will be done, I had a horrible emergency bleeding episode that resulted in the doctor’s finding out that there was something anatomically wrong with my uterus that could be corrected surgically and that was preventing pregnancies and causing miscarriages. I still endured another year of waiting for my surgery and a miscarriage and sadly, countless acquaintances discovering they were pregnant who did not want to be. But I realize now that by following the example of those Biblical women, and Mary, I became a much more patient mother and much more appreciative of my time with my children.

 

Thanks for the reflection. When I was at mass today I was trying my hardest to empty myself of myself and fill myself with the Lord. So hard to do!

 

Beautiful, Arwen.

 

I hope that you are not saying by surrendering our wombs that NFP is not permitted?  Or that surrendering our wombs to having a dozen children is for every woman’s health just because she is capable fertility wise.  I am capable fertility wise of having a great many more children and I am already almost at a dozen, and in my early thirties.  But I don’t know how well my uterus is taking it.  I guess I have your opposite problem but I don’t feel the Lord leading me to fertility to a fault.  I will trust the Lord and the doctors He gave me, to help dh and I to decide if we want to continue having more children.


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