A friend of my seventh-grade daughter lent her the first two books of the series. Her friend was completely enraptured by the series. She (and her mom) took a group of girls, including my daughter, to see the movie when it came out.  My daughter briefly got caught in the excitement but has quickly come to earth.

As a family, we tend to scoff at trendieness so while we didn’t ban the book or movie in our view it wasn’t cool - it was “popular.”

I’ve had a lot of mini conversations about the book series with my daughter who has concluded that the vampire Edward is NOT the kind of guy she’d like to marry and she doesn’t buy into the hoopla surrounding him. What makes a possessive, bossy, rude guy, attractive?

Bella, the supposed heroine, is anything but, according to my daughter. She’s a wimp, says my daughter. Why would she like Edward and not Jacob?

My daughter is familiar with some vampire lore - we’ve watched *SELECTED* episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer - and she’s convinced that Meyer’s manipulation of the genre shows a weakness in her story.

She’s also not sure it’s great writing. She walked away thinking - I could have written that - and she’s started writing her own books.

She has not read the last book in the series and probably won’t.  She’s also on a mission to convince her devout Twilight friends that it’s not all that.

Lisa, thanks for sharing your family’s perspective - interesting the debate between Jacob and Edward figured largely in our conversation too!  You should definitely read the review at Decent Films, which touches a lot on the attraction to Edward and even brings in the Titanic parallel.  I found it a fascinating read!
Congratulations to your daughter on her writing!  Please tell her if she’d ever like to share any of it, I’m always looking for contributors at CatholicMom.com - it’s a volunteer position, but she could share some of her stories and inspire other teens in the process!  I love it when kids watch or see something and think “I can do that!” - she obviously has a great mom too! Lisa

I picked up the book on a whim while running through the airport and I definitely enjoyed it.  The book reminded me of the beginning of my romance with my husband and brought back some fun memories.  The movie however did not go into enough of why Edward and Bella were attracted to each other and it seemed to just be a physical “pull” while the book went into great detail of the two of them getting to know each other through continuous conversation.  I was confused as to why they liked each other so much after watching the movie (while that was clearly written in the book). 

The movie also depicted Bella as needing “saving” more than the book did.  I liked Bella’s character in the book while in the movie she seemed needy and sometimes annoying.

I was extremely bothered by the fact that Edward stayed in Bella’s room at night.  Like ANY teen could avoid a temptation as blatant as that… however, I was refreshed though that there was no sexually explicit scenes in either the book or the movie. 

I think the book and movie are fun, entertaining and refreshingly clean.  I have two teen nieces and I discussed their takes on the book.  After hearing what they had to say (they were entertained, but certainly not “swept away” by the phenomenon), I am confident that all teen girls are not so silly as to think that Edward is sooooo dreamy!

I honestly enjoyed the series.  They are not going to be literary classics, but I was entertained.  I appreciated the lack of sexually explicit material.  I also respected the acknowledgement that strong attraction and deep love still do not make premarital sex OK.

My biggest problem was the movie.  I enjoyed it.  I even took my 10 year old daughter.  Although I feel it (mostly) stayed true to the spirit of the book, it kind of “sexed up” a few scenes.  I was disappointed by the decision to have Bella wearing nothing but a clingy t-shirt and panties during the bedroom scene; in the book she was wearing baggy sweatpants and an old t-shirt with holes in it- and Edward still found her to be lovely.

Theola, funny that you should mention the attire in the bedroom scene - since I haven’t read the books I wondered about that.  We actually talked about that change - I wonder what the author thought about it?  We have a “no friends in the bedrooms” rule in our house - the kids hang out in “common areas”, so that was discussed too.  Thanks for sharing your take!  Lisa, your comment made me think about how different books and movies can be.  I usually always prefer books to their movie versions.  Adam definitely preferred the book to the movie, but he did like the movie too.

I have not seen the movie, and don’t plan to anytime soon, but I did finish the second book in the series last last.  I am thoroughly enjoying the books, but I do not plan to let my daughter anywhere near them until she is at least 15.  True, there is nothing explicit in them, but they are very emotionally intense.  I remember all too well what adolescent hormones are like, and I’ve no wish to fuel that in a 12-13 year old.

On the other hand, I would have no qualms about letting my daughter read Regina Doman’s books at the age of 12 or 13.  They are just as engrossing, in my opinion, but in a non-obsessive, teenaged-hormone fueling way.

I teach 8th grade, and many of my students have been enraptured by these books.  I read them (I’m reading the fourth one just now) mainly to find out what the allure is!  I have to say that I’ve found them entertaining.

I’ve had some great conversations with the girls about Edward not being a realistic possibility in “real” life, (ah well!) as well as some rather frank discussions about the lack of premarital sex in the books—the girls (private independent school—but not Christian) really find this refreshing and different from what they usually see in popular culture today.

I’ve not yet seen the movie, but plan to soon, as time allows.

An interesting caveat is that several of my 8th grade boys have also been reading the books, too—and they confess it is so they can better “understand girls”!  (Smile….)

Well, Lisa, you already know me and know I read everything that my children read, especially the eldest.  When she started on the Twilight Series, she originally smuggled it in, and I caught her with it. I made her hand it over so I could read it first.  It’s rules here. Take ‘em or don’t take the book basically.

I did in fact read the entire series.  I read each book first.  My eldest and I had serious talks about it.  Especially about Edward sitting in her rocking chair watching over her at night.  She thought it romantic, I thought it stalkerish until I looked it from her eyes….he never touched her. I suppose it could be viewed as romantic as he was guarding over her.  She was VERY accident prone, much like my own eldest. 

As the books progressed, the no sex til we’re wed theme came through stronger and stronger…and as a parent I appreciated it.  It had a very large impact on my daughter and her friends as well.  They all believe in that now.  Even though it was a fictional book, I explained to her that it was the way our church believed in the way it should be and the way it was in the past, especially in when Edward was born and raised. 
It made my daughter and her friends more determined than ever to have the same belief…no bed until we’re wed.  My daughter even lost a boyfriend over her belief, but she did not change her mind.  She remained chaste, while to her dismay, her ex did not.

As for the movie, she went with a group of the same friends of the same bond of ‘just say no’ club and they were not very happy with the sexed up scenes.  It did not follow the book and they were not happy.  It added sleaze to what they believe was a pure and chaste love-(her words not mine) 

I do intend to see the movie with my husband on our date night, as soon as my back brace comes back from the tailor/altering company. 

All in all, after having read all the books and had my daughters movie review, I have to say an overall good message for chastity and a pure chaste love.  Its not often teen books are like that. 

Since I was more or less playing devil’s advocate that this serious is really ok for older teens to read, its certainly not for a 13 or 14 old in my opinion.  15 or older definately.

Parents, if you wonder what your teens and kids are reading, ask to read it first.  We had the ‘Parent’s Read First Rule’ in place with the beginning of the Harry Potter Series.  There are many good secular books out there, such as Ranger’s Apprentice Series by Jack Flanagan who started this series as bedtime stories to his children, but not to be confused with The Last Apprentice Series by Joseph Delaney that does deal with witches, and all things evil that the apprentice is trained to kill or bind for eternity…..for an adult its entertaining and a bit scarey reading but it definately deals with the Dark Side and could scare some age groups and those without a sound religious background.

As I said before, you are their parent, it is not unreasonable for you to read first what want to read, and decide from there if you think it alright.

God loaned these children to you on a short term basis.

Pax,
Lori Callaway aka Brazenly Catholic

I haven’t read the books, but I’ve been reading about them. I’m wondering what you who have read them make of the life-threatening pregnancy towards the end of the series? I gather Bella ultimately becomes a vampire in order not to die from the pregnancy.

I pass no judgment without having read, but I don’t like the sound of that!

I read the first book. My children are way too young for it, but my 14-year-old niece and 18-year-old neighbor are both wildly enthusiastic over them. Theme-wise, this series isn’t too bad for them to be reading. I did find the romance scenes to be pretty heavy-breathing, but it’s the old-fashioned ploy of making the kisses tingle and sparkle and not going any farther than that.

My major problem, other than that the entire theme of the first book seemed to be Eternal Love At Seventeen, was that Edward as a vampire is a half-dead being. The author makes a big deal out of the fact that he doesn’t have to eat, breathe, or sleep. He has no heartbeat. Given that, I wondered how in the heck he thought that he and Bella could ever sleep together even if they were willing to do so without benig married.

The being-married-first theme is good, and a good one for teens to read. Also it creates more romantic tension than is usual in teen romances. But doesn’t the author realize that you need some blood flow and breathing in order to enjoy the rewards of marriage? Why would that system of the body work when none of the others do?

Unable to get past that point, and also disliking the writing, I have not joined the list of Twlight fans.

—SJ

And I didn’t even mention the difficulties a half-dead being would have with actual reproduction…

—SJ

Has everyone read all four books?? I pre-read all of them before I would let my eleven year old read them. I felt that one and two would be acceptable. I did feel three and four were too advanced. SPOILER ALERT>>>SPOILER ALERT>>>They marry, they have sex, they have a baby, etc. It is the obvious next step for the book series, but it is too advanced I feel for my daughter.
I want to say that I really enjoyed the books, which is odd for me to say because I do not like scifi type of fantasy books. I felt the first two books set a wonderful example of Edward and Jacob.
I explained to my eleven year old. That if she wanted to read the first two books that would be fine, but I would want her to wait on the last two books. She said she would probably wait a few years because she said the “suspence would kill her”. (good grief)
Just my thoughts…

Haven’t read the books.
My two teens have.
Two points:1. Their attraction to the book, as Bella’s attraction to Edward, is based on sexual energy.  2.  It annoys me that my daughters are so caugh tup in the romance that they don’t see the relationship as dysfunctional (almost stalking) and that the love interest is not only half-dead but DAMNED!
Recent films have tried to make the Vampire mystique more romantic and acceptable.  Sonds like a slippery slope to me.

I know I am completely out of the ordinary here (but that’s never stopped me before) but I did NOT like the book at all (the first—couldn’t read beyond that), I had to force myself to finish it for the sake of my daughter.

I found the writing poor, the story draggy, the characters unlikeable.

My 17 year old daughter continuously tells me that she doesn’t like Edward or Bella, so what is it about the story that she does like? She likes Jacob, she likes the chastity message, and in the fourth book, the pro-life message.

I cannot understand the current hoopla over these weird books. I predict they will not become classics. I know it is a girl thing, particularly teens. I cannot comprehend that mothers like it too. Sad, lonely mothers I guess.

My ultimate thoughts are that Twilight feeds some unmet need for our girls and women, and the main thing I can see if that they long for a man who is a gentleman. I can’t imagine anyone longing for a man who is made of stone and is living dead and needs human blood to survive this half-life. So, I can only believe that it is Edward’s behavior that in some way is compelling to women. But I find it sad that this is true, because it says our society is sick and in need of true manhood and womanhood, and it doesn’t know where to find it.

If you want to train your girls to be interested in fantasy Harlequin-romance type books—books that stimulate the body as you read them—this is a good place to start. If you don’t, best avoid this series.

Nancy, I’m loving this conversation so thanks for sharing your perspective.  Your comments really reminded me of the points Steven Greydanus made in his review of the film.  Very interesting stuff.

I’m sorry I didn’t read all the posts and am not too familiar with the books or series but I never ever allow my kids to see any PG-13 movie even if they are over 13.  I don’t even see PG-13 movies which are really worse than rated R movies used to be.  We are really careful with just the PG too.

Ladies—
On this topic, you might find this article from the Atlantic interesting called, “What Girls Want”, about the Twilight phenomenon among teenaged girls.  http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200812/twilight-vampires

As a teacher, I think that those of you who are reading ahead of or with your daughters are providing a valuable role model and discussion time with your girls.  In particular with reading (vs. movies or tv where it isn’t so clear, or so in-depth), I think this provides a wonderfully supportive and open relationship—which our adolescents so desperately need as they navigate an ever complex world.  Keep up the good work!

As far as I can tell from Twilight the whole basis of the obsession is based on Lust. According to everyone I know, the plot and the writing itself is weak, the only reason the young girls read this book comes down to that factor. And the fact they get hooked so easily scares me a little.

Maybe I am alone in this since my kids are WAY too young to care about anything more sophisticated than Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? But I have no desire to read these books or see the movies. Maybe it’s my stage in life being mother in her, ahem, late twenties, with two toddlers.

Then again, some of the most rabid Twilight fans I have met are my own friends my age with kids as young as mine. Personally, I don’t wonder if they are trying to recapture some kind of young love romance that isn’t always around when you have little ones under foot.

As for teens reading it, I agree with mom’s who are prereading the books and discussing them with teens. Obviously, this book is ripe for discussion for boys and girls. I remember, as a fourteen-year-old in the eighth grade the movie Schindler’s List coming out. At the time our English class was studying Holocaust literature. I was in public school and our teacher offered extra credit to anyone who saw the movie with this caveat, a parent had to sign that they saw the movie with their teen. Not only was that due to “mature content” but she wanted to encourage dialogue between teens and parents in general and more specifically about the very emotional parts of the film and surrounding the Holocaust. So bravo to all the moms and dads out there who are using this “craze” (as strange as I think it is!) to talk and educate their teens.

I have collected reviews of the movie and the books, as a service to parents who are wondering how to respond to the recent obsession:

http://phatcatholic.blogspot.com/2008/12/exposing-twilight-critical-reviews-of.html

I hope you all find it useful.

Pax Christi

You know what I like about all of these comments?  Good or Bad—There are some parents out there willing to take the time and READ what their teens and kids are wanting to read.

Those that had follow up discussion with their teens/or children were even smarter parents.

I remember my own mother never caring what I read. Honestly.  However, in the 1970’s-1984 (when I graduated) there really were no books to cause any stirs or heated debates. At least none that I can remember.
Other than the Dungeons and Dragons game, I don’t believe there was anything very upsetting to parents.  I was never interested in that so it didn’t matter to me either way.

In closing, as a columnist but more as a parent, I applaude those parents who took the time to pre-read or read the books.  It is time out of your private ‘quiet time’ that normally would have been your own.  You put yourself and your needs aside for your teens/kids.  I am so happy to see so many responses.  It means that we as parents are changing or trying to change and keep up with what our teens and tweens are faced with. 
Being a parent is not for the fearful or the ‘I come first’ sort of person.  The people who responded here proved that we are getting smarter as parents and putting what is more important first over our own wants or needs: Our children and their lives.
There are too many ‘My life comes first parents’ in America, and other countries too I imagine.
My closing line is this: Keep being the excellent parent you are, it will make a difference.

Pax,
Lori Callaway

#21 Lori,  I don’t know what school you went to by I graduated high school in 1982 and mom was constantly fighting with my Catholic school English and Religion teachers over the inappropriate books we were forced to read.  No, she didn’t pre-read all of our books, but I knew when something was inappropriate or contrary to the faith and I would show it to her which would send her marching into the school yet again.  And there was plenty of other bad stuff out there for teens that we didn’t have to read for school but other kids were reading like some of those Judy Blume books.

So things might be a lot worse now but it wasn’t safe then either.  Since I homeschool I don’t have to worry about that at this point.  But if I didn’t I would hope to have formed my kids the way my parents formed me to know what’s right and wrong and bring things to my attention.

To MM- You were fortunate then, because our small parish had to close its school doors and we all had to attend public school.
Here’s the kicker though, our small town had a population of under 3,000 people but they posted 3,000 on the sign as you drove into town.  It have had a census taken when all the college kids were home on break.

We didn’t have big libraries in any of our schools, and our public library was an old building that was shared with the DAR and the Genealogical society. So, using your imagination, picture what room we had for books. 
Our librarian had to have been in her late 60’s and she had complete control of what came in and what was put out on the shelves. Twilight would have never made it under her control as head librarian…over the volunteers she had.

I know there was no Judy Blume books there, because my big sister from ‘a big city’ went to the library with me once on a trip home.  She had a bachelors degree in Teaching, and 2 Masters in teaching Spanish and French languages.  She was apalled at the limited books available for me and for everyone in general.  It was then she would buy books for me and send them for every Christmas and birthday, and just because.  Otherwise, I would have been re-reading Willa Cather over and over.

Due to limited space we did not even have some of the classics we should have had available.  Our school district was always struggling financially being a rural community.  Usually, any new books recieved by schools or the public library were gifted books by patrons.  Our nearest book store was 45 miles away….
We were basically sheltered.  The absence of Judy Blume books was one of the things my sister noted.  Heck, we didn’t even have all of the Laura Ingalls Wilder series because someone didn’t return a couple of them. 

I graduated in 1984 and when I went away to college I was shocked at my college library.  I’d never seen so many books in one place.  I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. 

So, what I am trying to say, is this: I grew up in a protected rural environment. Nothing even slightly scandalous was put out on our shelves in either school or public library’s.  Even if we’d had the money, the librarian’s knew the towns people and what would be alright and what might cause them to lose their jobs…and they never took that chance. Harry Potter nor Twilight would have ever been seen in our libraries had they been available at that time.  The area I grew up seemed almost frozen in time I suppose to others looking at it.

Now that I live in a city with 12 high schools alone, and about the same number of libraries, I am forced to check what my eldest reads.

That’s all I am saying…I grew up in a protected environment rural environment. Cable television wasn’t even available until the mid 80’s where I grew up.  It was about that time we had to switch from rotary dial phones to touch button phones.  No, I am not pulling your leg.  But it made me the person I am today. Overprotective, absolutely.  I am no longer little Lori from Hicksville, though I wish my children had the same chance to have that feeling of safety and being protected by every person in town that knew your parents, and your parents parents. 
As I look back, I know I was very fortunate.  I got over the culture shock at college slowly but it didn’t change who I was on the inside or how I was raised.  I was allowed by that protection to know freedom physically and go whereever I wished.  I cannot say the same for my children.

Let there be peace between you and I now that you know the circumstances in which I grew up in. 
Pax,
Lori Callaway

I have not read these books, and I have determined that they are inappropriate for my 12 year old daughter.  The relationships are disordered, and although they supposedly promote abstinence, a romantic relationship with a “vampire” is still revolting in my book.

The USCCB said, “Schindler’s List,” was “good,” too. The opeing scene of the Movie had 4 minutes of gratuitous sex. St. Paul said, “Do not be easily led astray, bad friends (and bad movies), corrupt good morals.”

Playing with the occult is stupid. This includes: Horoscopes, Divination, Obsessions with Evil or the Occult comes under this Category. The Trailers on this Twilight Movie did not impress me. I wouldn’t bother to read the book nor watch the movie. Just watching the first 5 minutes of Schindler’s List, helped me to decide to stick with St. Paul’s Statement. It’s his wisdom, I judged it by.

I could never agree with your positive opinions of this Movie.

A romantic relationship with a vampire. Oh pa-lease! How DIABOLICAL. YOU PEOPLE WHO LET YOUR KIDS GO TO IT, WILL ANSWER TO GOD FOR TEACHING THEM, TO VIOLATE THE FIRST COMMANDMENT. THAT COMMANDMENT IS: “I AM THE LORD, YOUR GOD. THOU SHALT NOT HAVE STRANGE gods, BEFORE ME!” 

We are Catholic’s first. If we are so self centered and narcisistic that we go willy nilly after every movie, approved by SOME in the USCCB are littered with Many Dissenting Bishops, and Laity,....and are not Truly Discerning: by Judging Movies, by seeing it it “Line’s Up,” with Catholic Scriptures and Traditions.

A Character in a Movie that has a Romantic Interlude with a Vampire, IS RATHER HAVING A SUGGESTED INTERLUDE WITH SATAN.

You folks who approve of this Movie, are playing with FIRE. AND, IT LASTS ETERNALLY.

I THOUGHT YOU FOLKS OFFERED “CATHOLIC MOVIES” ON YOUR WEBSITE. I CAN SEE THAT IS NOT TRUE. “FAITH AND FAMILY,” MY FOOT!

To MM:
 
The Occult only has as much power as you let.  Fearing gives it power as well.  Standing up aganist the occult takes power away from me.

There will always be books and movies that cause
sensations of awe and fan worship, especially with the teen crowd.  It’s better to be in the know than find out later your teen has went behind your back and read it anyway. 

As for the review of Schindlers List, I did not see that review.  It is historical at this point and its story needed to be told of the good Germans that did underground things to save Jews.  Many of those good Germans got caught and lost their lives for fighting for the good cause of saving those in danger. 
Not going to argue with you MM.  We can agree to disagree. 

As for watching the movie, I did finally see, and to be honest, there really isn’t much to see.  They didn’t cover anywear near the book in info on the occult.  The movie didn’t really have much umphf I suppose you’d say, at least I was disappointed in it.  It would have been a waste of $8 to go see.

Again we can agree to disagree.

Pax,
Lori

Go Figure, We really try to remain charitable while Instructing the Ignorant and Admonishing the Sinner.  That being said, some good Catholic girls read Twilight the way some good Catholic girls wind up pregnant. We do our best to lay a good foundation and teach Theology of the Body, but after that our kids will begin to make their own choices at some point.  Mine, thank God, are attached enough to be honest and tell me that they had gotten the books from friends.The writing is bad, the characters are stupid, and the whole idea of vampire love is sick. I am completely shocked by the few mothers who have read and liked the series.  That said, it has been a catalyst for some heated, lengthy discussions that have helped us to define and clarify our values.  On their wedding night, Edward (due to his marbled strenght) actually bruises Bella.  She is OKAY with this!!!!!! Because he LOVES her!  If my daughters heard nothing else…“THIS is NOT love!” will ring in their memory forever.

Well, I haven’t seen the movie but I have read the book, so I will share my thoughts on that instead. In terms of deciding whether my kids (both pre-teens) could read the series, I had to read it first. And yes, while it does touch upon several mature topics, I WAS worried about the sexual connotations and how it would be interpreted by my children. Yes, there is no actual sex in Twilight and in fact abstinence plays a significant role throughout. Edward and Bella seem quite content in keeping their relationship emotional rather than sexual but no one can deny their struggle to do so. The concept of sexual attraction and lust is constantly present and this is what gives Twilight its decidedly adult tone. In my mind, it would definitely warrant some frank discussions with your children after they read the book.

Though I cannot understand all the ways and beliefs of a Catholic, for I am not one.  I am a Christian and single mother of two.  I came from a small rural town, so I understand limited resources.  As parents we need to protect our children but at the same time we are to guide our children in the way they should go.  The key word is guide not force.  We are to talk to them about our beliefs and wants but ultimately they have to form their own beliefs.  Whether they agree with us or not.  They will have to make their own choices a little bit more each year as they grow older.  We are to protect them but not to the point that they can’t make choices, can’t make their own mistakes, that they are unprepared for the world out there.  I don’t want a replica of myself, I want my children to be their own individual person.  With their won thoughts, beliefs, and wishes.  My daughter doesn’t want a control freak for a mother.  She wants a mother that loves her and protects her, that she can talk to and be allowed to form her own thoughts.  Yes, she is still answerable to me for the things she does or doesn’t do because she still is a teenager.  If I started censoring every book she reads then that book would become the big temptation, the forbidden fruit.  Rebellion would soon follow in its footsteps.  As it happens, my daughter is an avid reader and I asked her if she ever read “Twilight”.  She said no, she has no desire to read that book.  She has no interest in it.  Basically protect your children but don’t control their every move.  You will just drive them away.

suspense of The Fugitive and Schindler’s List’s harrowing