Thank you!  Great article. 
Could you please tell me the name and artist of that painting?  It’s so beautiful and I’ve never seen it before.  Thanks!

“God wants us to offer Him our obedience.  No prayer of ours, no matter how devoutly said, can equal an act of obedience, especially when that obedience requires supreme fortitude.”

That pretty much sums up where I am with my whole life right now - kids, husband, and especially NFP. Thank you for your words, Michelle! (my kids are at that ‘oh, mass isn’t so bad any more stage’ but man, do I feel for some of the moms at our parish with strong willed kids.)

I wish I had access to all helpful advice that did not exist at all in the 50’s. We just had to wing it and feel we were bad parents.  How I dealt with it was I went to early Mass for years with my in-laws and my husband stayed home with the 5 little ones and he went to a later Mass alone.  A great, great sacrifice for me.  When they got older I remember being so upset with them that I sat in a different pew. ha! I didn’t feel very holy.

Thanks for linking to this. It was encouraging, and I needed it! Thanks, too, Michelle! I have a 3 year old boy.

Aw, thanks for the attention, Arwen.  It really seems to have touched a raw nerve for many people right now, so I’m glad I wrote it.

A-maz-ing!  It’s as if you opened the book of my thoughts, read about my struggles and wrote this article simply to encourage me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Wonderful! So nice to read & give a cheer for other moms & dads with squirrel-y ones!

As for me, I offer encouragement for parents to tag-team their Sunday obligation when they need to. I wish I had given myself “permission” to do this sooner.
Pride, I think, kept me forging ahead every Sunday, getting dh, myself and 3 under 5 ready for the most exhausting hour of the week.  Then we’d limp home, I’d ice my back (that the toddler threw out of alignment in the vestibule), dh and I would chug another pot of coffee & yet we’d still crawl exhaustedly through the rest of the day. Fun. Not to mention the guilt over turning Mass into an occasion of discipline.

So, for now, we split up.  Dh and eldest son go to one Mass, then when they return & while toddler is napping, daughter and I go to the next Mass.

This is our “retreat - not surrender” tactic for now, and it finally feels right and good *for our family* because we are meeting everyone’s needs. I finally stopped peeking at everyone else’s paper…my own is coming along nicely!

AMAZING article, thank you Arwen for sharing.
I actually had the opportunity to hug one Mom that struggled with her little one during the entire mass.  Everyone kept staring at her and she was trying so so hard.
During the peace offering, almost no one was looking at her and her son, I walked up to her and hugged her.
She literally melted in my arms, and we sat together holding hands for the seated portions on the remainder of the mass.
I’ve never seen her again, since I was just visiting the church but I will never forget her.
Now I have 3 special needs children and most times I’m in her place.
Maybe one day someone will come and hug me at the peace offering :o)

I also have six kids like the lovely author of this article.  My second oldest is autistic, my third is adhd, my fourth is adhd and autistic, my fifth is add , and we don’t know yet about the sixth.  Sometimes going to mass feels like the ultimate torture trying to get all of these people to sit and be reasonably quiet for the hour and a half our pastor usually takes.  But you’re right, it does get better as they get older, and we sit in the cry room every Sunday to help make it more tolerable for those around us who are easily irritated as we attend a parish that has a senior’s home attached.  I’ve endured many a nasty glare or comment from thoughtless people, but I’ve persisted knowing every Sunday my kids and I need that grace of the eucharist and are entitled to it as much as any one else.  I’ve finally made a few discoveries that work well helping keep my children quiet, and we’re beginning to actually participate at mass (even some of the kids .