My son is almost 23 months and my daughter almost 10 months and some days I think I’m going to go nuts repeatedly disciplining for the same things.  As our son stands screaming in the corner we have gated off for him I sing to myself what I call the “mean Mommy” song. Somehow singing seems to calm my frayed nerves with the benefit of mitigating his crying.  I remember what my Mom always said when I got angry with her growing up…“It’s not my job to be your friend, it’s my job to be your Mom”

It takes discipline to discipline, doesn’t it?

I get tired of the grind, too. It can be so tempting sometimes to let things slide just because correcting them requires physical and mental energy on our parts. But you’re dad is right. It’s the most loving thing we can do.

I love the picture of Camilla, btw. I do NOT believe that little darling EVER does anything wrong.

Sorry Arwen, I have no kids BUT I too was very struck by that photo of Camilla, and the one on your personal blog.  Such a good looking kid.  I really enjoy your thoughts and am looking forward to when you and the other bloggers here put up some posts on marriage.

Good thoughts.  Just today I was thinking how lucky those moms of many children are because they get to put into practice what they learned (about themselves, about children) into practice with the younger ones.  By the time I feel I’ve learned something, they’re onto the next phase!
But disciplining, no matter what age the child, will always be something that I will just have to dig in and “just do it.”

Oh, I feel your pain.  Eamon (2.5yrs) is on a throwing food/utensils/napkins/etc from the table kick recently.  We always tell him, “You will have to pick all that (insert thrown object/s) up.”  Then, when it’s time to pick the stuff up, he gets a huuuuuuge grin on his face and says, “Okay!!  Clean up, clean up, everybody clean up!”  Thank you, so much, Dora the Explorer, for at least making my son a cheerful fiend.

My children are now 24, 22, 20 and 11.  I sometimes wonder when the imperative to “speak the truth” to them will end.  No-one likes to be unpopular, but I get the most interesting feedback from my older three.  their friends tell them that I was a really scary mum when they were little, but I became a pussy cat by the time they were in high school.  My argument is, that the moulding was essentially done by the time they were 14.  The values and respect were there and, whilst I sometimes do have to say things they would rather not hear, they recognise the truth nonetheless.  I find it interesting that their peers had indulged childhoods but fraught relationships with their parents.  Now, I just have to survive the 11 year old!!

My children are 24, 22 20 and 11.  I sometimes wonder when the imperative to “speak the truth” runs out.  My older children tell me, with some amusementg, that there friends think it strange that I was so scary when they were in primary school but had morphed into a pussycat by the time they were 14.  My firm belief is that formation is done by then.  They have their values.  All that is left is to occasionally challenge them to live by them as they move into an adult world.  It’s not easy - far from it.  Some days I don’t think I have the energy to do “battle” with my youngest, but my relationship with my adult children spurs me on.

As my husband once said, “the toughest part about parenting is getting up . . . ”

I heard an article on npr that is on the same topic…only with a Horse Whisperer who is a Christian. You might like it:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=93531003

As a SAHM, I, too, struggle with disciplining my two girls, ages 5 and 2 3/4.  My girls are pretty well behaved most of the time and thankfully enjoy playing with each other, but there are some days it feels like all I do is discipline, and I hate it!  At the end of those days, however, upon reflection, I realize that most of the days’ problems were a result of my own lack of discipline:  my kids were either over-scheduled (and thus tired,) under-scheduled (bored,) or there was simply no schedule (confused, tired, hungry, bored or all of the above.)  When there are numerous discipline problems, it’s usually because of something I’ve done or haven’t done—late lunch, too many errands, not enough attention, too little sleep, etc.  If they’re not tired or hungry, then boredom is usually the key.  I find that when I keep them busy, they do so much better.  This is especially true when I have “other” things to do (like anything on the computer.)  We started doing “centers” after my 2 year old LOVED the centers at my 5 year old’s preschool.  I pull out 4 or 6 different bins (centers) and let them choose one to play with.  Our centers include blocks, Legos, Weebles, dinosaurs, jewelry, puzzles, a train set, puppets, Barbies, etc.  Sometimes they’ll play with one center all day, other times they want to change up every 15 minutes.  Sometimes they’ll play together, other times they choose separate activities and play alone.  In order to change bins, they have to put away the other one.  Only 1 bin per child at a time, just like preschool!  Sometimes I’ll include a “craft” center for them to choose from, with, for example, collage materials, or Color Wonder Fingerpaint, or paint-with-water, PlayDoh, coloring books and crayons, etc.  I’ve had great success with this.  Also, I TRY to do something “special” each day with my girls, even it’s just a nature walk in the backyard.  It doesn’t take much thought or energy most days to do something special, as it’s nothing formal or planned or “trumped up,” just something fun and/or educational to break up the daily monotony.  Some “special” things we do include blow bubbles on the front porch, play in the rain, take a trip to the library, take a bath in the middle of the day, have a tea party, go swimming or play in the sprinklers in the backyard, eat ice cream for lunch, play with beads, bake cookies together, do crafts, paint, play a game of hide and seek, have a puppet show, etc.  By disciplining myself and thinking and planning ahead, my girls are much happier—and better behaved. And I actually enjoy coming up with ideas!  We all win!  Yay!

Becky thanks so much for you comment. I absolutely feel the same way about my soon to be four year old daughter. The days that I find her misbehaving the most are precisely those days when I lack the self discipline to plan ahead. I think I was already aware of this but needed reinforcement and your comment did just that! Thanks also for the many useful ideas and suggestions on things to do with her. God bless!