'Thy Will Be Done'
Posted by Sara Fox Peterson in Faith on Friday, October 02, 2009 2:00 PM
I imagine that most of you are familiar with Pope Paul VI’s authoritative teaching on the morally licit use of NFP to avoid pregnancy:
“With regard to physical, economic, psychological and social conditions, responsible parenthood is exercised by those who prudently and generously decide to have more children, and by those who, for serious reasons and with due respect to moral precepts, decide not to have additional children for either a certain or an indefinite period of time.” (Humanae Vitae 10)
We can debate until we are blue in the face what, precisely, is meant by a “serious reason” to postpone or avoid pregnancy, and many people do, but I think such debates largely miss the point.
Also in Humanae Vitae, only a few lines after the statement above, Pope Paul VI writes (emphasis added):
”... [Husband and wife] are not free to act as they choose in the service of transmitting life, as if it were wholly up to them to decide what is the right course to follow. On the contrary, they are bound to ensure that what they do corresponds to the will of God the Creator.” (Humanae Vitae 10)
Really the only question we ever need to ask is, “What is God’s will for our family right now?” This simplifies things a great deal because God is not out to confuse or mislead us. He wants us to know what He wants us to do and when we sincerely seek His will we can be quite certain He will make it clear to us. If you are uncertain how to go about discerning God’s will, the book What Does God Want?: A Practical Guide to Making Decisions by Fr. Michael Scanlon is a great place to start.
NFP itself also helps us to discern God’s will because the periodic abstinence required of those who use NFP to avoid pregnancy is really a kind of fasting. Just as fasting from food is often encouraged as an aid to discernment in other areas of our lives, the fasting from marital relations necessary to avoid pregnancy serves to both clarify and purify a couple’s reasons for wishing to avoid conception. Having to repeatedly forego something good and proper that one desires is a very good way to cut through any self-deception that one may have engaged in when listening for God’s call. Voluntary sacrifice and selfishness don’t often coexist for any significant length of time.
On the other hand if we are not sincerely seeking God’s will, no amount of semantic clarity on exactly what kind of situations let us off the procreative hook is going to make any difference. If we are seeking our own will rather than His we will simply rationalize whatever it is we want. And, of course, we must always remember that we can judge only our own hearts and lives and never someone else’s.
As I write this I cannot help thinking of the Holy Family. Mary’s openness to life - her fiat - was irresponsible by just about every earthly standard. She was very young, poor, unmarried, the child would not be conceived with her intended husband and she would face dangerous public censure (adultery was punishable by stoning) if he were to reject her and the child. The Annunciation was also the one and only time God called Mary to accept the gift of a child. It was His will for her to remain forever a virgin despite her holy marriage to St. Joseph and an absence earthly reasons (as far as we know) not to bear other children. And yet we know with certainty that Our Lady’s actions were always in perfect accord with the will of God.
May her intercession allow us to imitate her obedience!
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