To Find the Answer
Posted by Arwen Mosher in Faith on Friday, January 29, 2010 9:53 PM
Today was another rough day, and when my (sainted) husband got home from work he suggested I go out by myself for a couple hours while he tackled bedtime solo.
Honestly, I intended to go to the bookstore, but through a concatenation of circumstances I ended up at our parish’s Adoration chapel instead.
During our extended period of subfertility I regularly found solace in Eucharistic Adoration. I would spend hours there writing in my prayer journal, staring at the Blessed Sacrament, searching for what I needed. One particular time, when I felt despairing over whether we would ever have a baby, I looked to Christ present in the Eucharist and felt God’s voice filling my mind and heart: Here I am. Here is your Answer.
Since then, whenever I’ve had a large cross to carry, I’ve remembered those words, remembered where to find the Answer to my problems.
Right now, though, I don’t have any large crosses. All my problems are relatively insignificant: my daughter’s defiance, my son’s sleeplessness, my never-shrinking pile of laundry, my winter blues. I haven’t been looking for a big Answer, I’ve just been thinking that I need to buck up, have a better attitude, apply myself, solve my own problems.
Frustrated and exhausted, I stepped in the door of the chapel this evening and looked up at Our Lord’s body exposed in the monstrance, and instantly knew what a lie that is.
I sank to my knees and felt His presence around me, the solace He always gives me when I visit Him there.
Gently, lovingly, he reminded me: do not forget that I am the Answer to all your little problems too.
I came home refreshed.
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