Top 10 Signs You May Be TOO Into the TOB
Posted by Rebecca Teti in Faith on Wednesday, August 11, 2010 1:30 PM
Mark Shea wrote a funny column “noodling,” as he calls it, people who are a little too attached in his view to the Theology of the Body.
I read it and laughed heartily, and agree with his overall premise while taking issue with some of his particulars.
This, for example, needed to be addressed:
A lot of people seem to think that the Church functions according to the principle, “That which is not forbidden is compulsory.” So many folk seem to be under the impression that there is a black and white magisterial answer to everything, and that “You’re with us or agin’ us” is the watchword for all disputes in the life of the Church.
I do marvel at the things which become elevated to dogmas among our Catholic tribe!
If you want to watch a fight break out fast, get three NFP teachers to explain the best method or three pro-life lobbyists to detail the best political strategy for ending the abortion license in our nation and then pop your corn and enjoy the fireworks.
I have apparently a deeper respect for the Theology of the Body than Shea professes, however, and I do think it’s revolutionary.
He’s also not right that George Weigel started the fuss. The John Paul II Institutes on Marriage & The Family in Rome, DC & Mexico existed long before Weigel’s biography of Pope John Paul came along, and scholars like Janet Smith, Mary Shivanandan, William May and others had been preaching the “gospel” of TOB for years. Weigel learned from them, not vice versa.
But I digress. The real reason I bring this up is because years ago Tom Hoopes emailed a “Top 10 Signs You’re a Little TOO Into The Theology of the Body” to our circle of friends. Everyone contributed additional items and we had a great laugh.
After reading Shea’s column, I asked Tom if by any chance he still had that list. He didn’t, which is too bad ‘cause it was hilarious, but he remembered a few, and I remember my contribution. So here’s the beginning of a new Top 10. You help us fill in the rest if you’re game.
Top 10 Signs You’re a Little TOO Into The ToB
1. You wear a wedding dress around the house to emphasize the nuptial meaning of the body.
2. Your children’s names are Adam, Eve, John-Paul, Christopher, Janet and The Gift.
3. You only know the “one-flesh” body weight of you and your spouse together.
4. Whenever you hear a Barry White song, you think of John Paul the Great.
5. Your children haven’t heard of a “birthday suit,” they say “original innocence.”
6. You think “Naked Without Shame” would be a great name for a rock band.
Update: My friend Eddie filled in my memory with some of the other points on our original list. And a new one.
7. Your wife gets glassy-eyed when you talk to her about sex, and blushes when you talk theology.
8. You are constantly telling people how much clearer things are in the original Polish.
9. Your fantasy honeymoon location is the Vatican gardens, preferably on Trinity Sunday.
10. You wish Tim Burton would make “Alice in Hildebrand,” with Christopher West as the Hatter.
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