Unity Candle Questions Answered
Posted by Danielle Bean in Marriage on Friday, January 02, 2009 12:05 PM
In this week’s Coffee Talk, an interesting question came up on the subject of unity candles used at weddings.
Kristen, who knew of an engaged couple who do not want to have a “unity candle” at their wedding, but are concerned that it might be a required part of the ceremony, wrote:
“I think a unity candle is a beautiful symbol of families coming together but I had never heard of it being a part of the actual rite of matrimony. My priest is out of town for two weeks or I would have called and asked. Does anyone know?”
We sent this question along to Canonist Dominican Father Juan-Diego Brunetta who answers readers’ questions about official Church practice in a Faith & Family magazine column, By the Book. He is the director of Catholic Information Services for the Knights of Columbus.
Fr. wrote back:
“While I do not have my marriage ritual with me, I can assure you that the unity candle is NOT a normal part of the universal Catholic wedding rite, let alone an essential one. In fact, the only required elements for the sacrament of marriage is that a man and a woman exchange unconditioned marital consent before a representative of the Church in the presence of 2 witnesses. The rite for marriage provides additional rituals that surround the exchange of consent, but these rites are a liturgy of the word, the rite for the exchange of the rings, and a nuptial blessing (in addition to the liturgy of the Eucharist for those who marry in Mass).
I will concede that it has become somewhat customary in parts of the US to have a unity candle; however it is clearly a local OPTION for the couple. If they don’t want it, they certainly don’t need to have it. The unity candle is akin to other optional customs in wedding rite: the procession to the Blessed Mother’s altar/statue to pray after communion and the whole host of options with regard to the procession.
Given the circumstances of their families, I think they have made a very prudent decision to exclude the use of the unity candle.
Thanks, Father Juan-Diego!
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