It might help to do a little “flying” first—Get your family on board.Put away all toys, pitch things that are broken or unusable. Do fifteen minutes a day. Identify your “hot spots”—usually one by the front door, where clutter comes in. Put a garbage/recycling basket nearby so you can head off clutter when it arrives. Another popular hot spot location is the kitchen counter. Spend five minutes a day, while you’re on the phone or waiting for the coffee to brew just pitching trash and putting bills, etc. in a cardboard file or box whatever works for you. After a week of this you should be able to clean. Tell the cleaning lady very explicitly what you want her to do. Mine does the two bathrooms, the kitchen floor, and vacuums the living/dining room rugs. Then each time there is extra: she changes all sheets, I strip the beds and leave clean linens for her. She puts them in the washer and usually they are finished by the time she is done the other stuff. then I have her swiff under the beds (we have wood floors. you could have her vacuum). Other times she dusts and details the downstairs (kitchen, LR, DR). Make sure your lady knows to sweep under couches, etc.  It can be overwhelming at first but it leads to better habits eventually. For example, the beds have no longer become clutter caves. All lego etc is in a flat bin under the bed so she can swiff under there. I do laundry on Monday so it’s out of the way when she comes. You will find your rhythm and routine. I have been married over twenty years and am still tweaking mine The main thing we have learned is to keep up with laundry, wash all dishes before bed, make the kids pick up toys every night, and do that five minute hot spot drill. Good luck and enjoy. The time the lady spends cleaning is a gift to you. You can just enjoy your children and play with them without worrying you should be doing something else. And if you put dinner in the crockpot on cleaning lady days that will make it extra easy! don’t get discouraged!

Mama A, I agree with Kathleen.  IF you can get the basics done, things will get better.  with all your appliances scattered you must feel pretty disoriented!  Have specific jobs you want her to do. That helps a lot.  I have a cleaning lady now and I had one when my kids were younger.  My house was pretty cluttered then and I had to do a clean sweep before she came.  The best thing you can do for yourself is make sure you throw out all unused items, and have containers for toys, books etc.

I have a once-a-month cleaning lady, too!!  It seems so ridiculous to me sometimes because she comes for three hours and I figure I should be able to find three hours a month to do what she does, but it is my sanity!!

Yes, I often spend the evening before she comes clearing off my son’s desk, getting the clutter off my dresser and doing other general tidying, but that is part of the reason to have her.  If she wasn’t coming, I might not get to those things.  I agree with the above posters, though.  You do need some kind of system and way of storing the regular clutter of toys, clothes, etc.  It takes me about 30-45 minutes to do the detail cleaning (tops of dressers, nooks and crannies of kitchen counters) before she comes.  It would be a burden if you have to spend hours picking things up once a month, not to mention living like that the rest of the month.  Your kids are so young that the burden really falls almost exclusively on you (and your husband, I hope).  Maybe you need to put half of the toys in a storage area (basement, closet).  And I can’t imagine working around appliances!  Cut yourself some slack because of that.
Because my cleaning lady only comes once a month, I stick with things I would reasonably do only once a month.  She cleans the kitchen top to bottom, wiping woodwork and cupboards, cleaning the oven burners, etc.  She washes the shower really nicely.  Dusts all the bedroom and baseboards.  Dusts the dining room table really well (it is mission style with all kinds of nooks and crannies) and all the little shelves.  I decided not to do bathrooms and floors because those need to be done every week and if she did them once a month that would only be a break for one week.  If you are mainly interested in having her do those sorts of things (cleaning bathrooms, sweeping, etc.) maybe it makes more sense to have her come for half the time twice a month instead of three or four hours (or whatever you and your husband agreed on) once a month.

what an awesome present!  I’ve never had a cleaning lady, but I would second your idea to have her do something you hate.  After all it was a present and the point is to give you a break and feel good as much as to get the house clean.  I think I would give her jobs I always put off until they get really bad, like cleaning the stove or mopping or really deep cleaning the bathroom.  Hope you can work something out that you can enjoy!

I’ve had two very different experiences with outside cleaning help. We initially hired a company who would send one or two people a month (and not the same person month to month either). I had to declutter before they came because they wouldn’t move things to clean. For example, they would vacuum around objects on the floor, if there were dishes in the sink they wouldn’t clean the sink.
We now have a private individual who cleans our home every two weeks, so she sees it tidy and a total disaster. She gets more done if the house is decluttered, but it still looks a ton better regardless. Sometimes I find I’m happier if she takes care of the clutter (toys, dishes, laundry) as that takes a ton of time as well.

Wow, that is the best present ever! I like the advice by the other girls! Enjoy it!!!!

I’ve never had a cleaning lady, but in the past, when having friends over for tea or some such rare occurance I’ve went through the house with a laundry basket and cleared all the surfaces off (literally just swept it all into the basket!.  I shoved the basket out-of-sight temporarily.  Later, I found it was a easy to take the basket around the house and put all the things where they belonged.  You might even be able to ask your husband to have a first go at putting things where they belong.

I work full time outside of the house and the cleaning lady comes twice a month. I make the kids “clean their room” (i.e.-put all toys away, organize desk and shelf surfaces and put dirty clothes in the hamper) and I put away all clutter (toss it in the ottoman!). That way she can spend her time really cleaning by doing things like mopping, wiping, dusting, vacuuming, etc. I also try to get most of the laundry done first because I like to come home and have everything just so. Things I don’t do: make the beds, take out the garbage, wash the dishes or sweep. I think some cleaning people won’t do the dishes for you, but thank goodness mine does!!

Matchbox cars; Little People; art supplies, like markers, crayons, construction paper, glue sticks (Color Wonder products are good for this if you’re worried about unsupervised coloring)

Advice:  plan on adult supervised play (hire a teen neighbor or older nieces/nephews to help watch the little ones) or you are asking for trouble.  Is basketball outside or inside?  think about older ones possibly being too rough/wild near little ones (it happens when there are groups!)  Try for guided game playing——duck duck goose, bean bag toss games, balloon toss (careful of breaking balloons due to choking danger), even improvised ballpit in a soft sided blowup pool, or get a “parachute”  look on-line as your child’s birthday gift and use it at the party to play games with the group, also set up a simple craft activity on a small picnic table or plastic tablecloth—you could also have playdoh (even homemade—great recipes simple and non-toxic I used as a preschool teacher) and plastic cookie cutters and playdoh toys (even improvised from your recycle pile/cabinets).  Other “table activities”—-sand play in giant shallow rubbermaid tub or you could fill it with dry uncooked rice/oatmeal and pouring/scooping things.  You could also use a roll of brown paper (we have old butcher paper roll/packaging paper) and put out a big piece to make a banner collage or draw roads/town so they could play with cars on them.  Thomas the Tank wooden trains are usually a hit too.  These activities even your older elementary kids will enjoy.  Keep a special “movie” on hand just in case they need some calming time or a great picture book works well too.  Best advice is limit party time and guests to try to prevent everyone being overwhelmed (especially birthday child!)  Keeping things planned and supervised but not on the simple side (activities and food) is this best thing you can do and then ENJOY!  GOD BLESS!

Correction to above:  KEEP IT ON THE SIMPLE SIDE…..sorry about the misplaced “not” in that sentence…..SIMPLE is ALWAYS BETTER!!!!

Have you tried Bar Keepers’ Friend?  Also, Le Cruset sells an enameled cast iron cookware cleaner.  You can find it at Williams and Sonoma (and other places I’m sure).  I would try the Bar Keepers’ Friend first, but both are worth a shot!

Those of you who use flylady… do you really put shoes on and shine your sinks? I got caught up on those facts and never got further. I am just curious.

I’ve used Fly Lady in the past.  I do shine my sink and find it makes a difference. If I am overwhelmed by how much I have to do, starting with the sink and seeing it clean just makes me smile and feel like I’ve accomplished something!
  I used to not wear my shoes, but now I have too because of foot pain.  I may still be in my PJ’s cleaning- but I’ve got my shoes on!
I did not subscribe to Fly Lady e-mails as they got overwhelming.  I love her ideas though, and find them helpful when I don’t know where to start.

I feel your evening crunch! I don’t know the ages of your kids, so some of this may or may not work - mine are 10,8,6 and 1. One thing I’ve found is having to do away with some of the idyllic “all of us together” feelings in the evening and divide and conquer with my DH. Obviously, dinner should be together, but once the kids get their part of helping clean up done, usually one of us works on finishing dishes (OK, sometimes this gets left for after the kids are in bed, but in theory ...) and the other moves them on to baths and stories. Or I’ve also used snack times as story times. You read while they munch! By about age 4 we abandoned bedtime snacks too - if they eat enough at dinner, they don’t need a bedtime snack, I think. We also only do baths every other night. Sometimes we separate who gets baths which night to make that time slot faster. HTH!

Baths and showers are rare around here! I take the toddler in the shower with me some mornings since he’s really the only one that gets THAT dirty everyday. 2-3 times a week suffices with the other two. And I agree that weaning off the bedtime snacks or combining them with storytime is a way to go.

Oh, and I forgot to add, that if you are having trouble falling asleep anyway, then don’t force yourself to go to bed with the kids. Take 30 minutes to unwind with a cup of tea, a tv show or a book before heading to bed. You’ve earned it!

I agree with a few things in the previous posts, too.  I don’t know exactly when dinner is or how old your kids are, but mine (6,5,2) have never had an after dinner snack.  Even if your kids don’t eat much dinner, it could be a good lesson that they need to eat up because this is their last chance.  Second, you could split things up more.  If your kids are old enough, clean up from dinner could take ten minutes, not 30.  If they are young, maybe you and your spouse could switch off reading and cleaning duties, getting both done at the same time.  Are you at home with the kids during the day?  Then maybe 30 minutes of reading is excessive or could be done earlier.  Maybe clean-up time becomes your time with your husband.  No kids allowed in the kitchen, time to talk about your days. 
Lastly, re-examine the kids bedtimes (assuming they aren’t teenagers).  Does it make more sense for them to go to bed earlier so you and your husband have time together and time to relax?  Yes, you would have to cut some things out of your routine (they certainly wouldn’t need a snack)  but they would also be up earlier and you could read in the morning.  My husband doesn’t get to spend hours and hours with the kids after work, but he loves eating breakfast with them, too.

I have a similar schedule, but without snacks.  I have come to realize that a lot of the hurried feeling comes from within me…my desperate need to get a break from the chaos, to get to the end of the day.  So my recommendation is to skip the snack, but add in 15-30 minutes for YOU to sit down and have a cup of tea and read or talk to your husband, read scripture. (I would not recommend TV…it does not usually help people decompress for bedtime).  Just let the kids play or clean up toys during that time.  But make sure they understand that you are in “Time Out” and will be a much happier mama when your time out is over.  Then, when you are ready, tuck them in.  It will probably be a more pleasant experience for everyone.  Things might still be cluttered around you, but interiorly you will be able to handle it better. 

I have “house shoes” (comfy flats) which are ok for running to the bus stop with my younger one and picking up the paper. I don’t shine the sink because we don’t leave things soaking in there, so after the dishes are washed any crud is scrubbed off and it is officially cleaned once a week. Contrary to the gospel of Flylady you don’t have to do every.little.thing. she suggests. It is like LaLeche League meetings: take what you can use and leave the rest. What I really took from flylady, and I think many others have as well, is the importance of routines (morning and evening, however that means to you), keeping up with the hot spots and laundry, and putting all toys and dishes away at night.  If you just do that it is 90% of a clean tidy home note I did not say “perfectly clean and tidy”). When I first read about Flylady I laughed because my mother always used to quote what Her mother used to say to her: “If they have clean underwear in the drawer and a bit of dinner on the table that is the main thing”. So don’t kill yourself, but do try to establish some basic basic routine just for your own peace of mind and your family’s comfort.