Vote Split
Posted by Arwen Mosher in Marriage on Tuesday, November 17, 2009 12:00 PM
Two weeks ago on election day my husband and I voted. (We love to vote.) Two millage-increase proposals were at stake, and both increases were rejected by the voters.
Bryan and I agreed on one of the millages, but on the other one we voted opposite ways. I’m pretty sure this is the first time in nine years of voting together that we’ve failed to cast matching votes on any significant issue. Two weeks later, we’re still talking about it. It isn’t a source of real strife, but neither of us has managed to convince the other to change sides.
The other morning as he got ready for work we had another lively discussion on the topic, and as we exchanged arguments it occurred to me: I am really enjoying this.
I actually like disagreeing with my husband.
We have a very happy marriage, which I’ve always credited in large part to the fact that we agree on all the major issues and most minor ones. Married life offers plenty of opportunities to clash on logistical and emotional issues. I’ve never imagined it would be good to add ideological differences to that list.
Our recent friendly clash on the topic of the millage gave me a new point of view. It can be good for us to disagree, it turns out, because it gives us the chance to examine the things we believe to be true and reconsider our stances. As long as we keep them charitable, these little arguments don’t threaten our marriage, and they do provide us with the opportunity to become better, more rational people.
Bryan and I both found our political discussion entertaining. Neither of us convinced the other, but several hours later I found myself still thinking about the points he’d made. Our early-morning give-and-take turned out to be the most intellectually stimulating part of my day.
I’ll call it a marital success.
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