I’m a fundamentalist/evangelical (I know they’re different - I spent time in both) convert from 2008.  I think it’s really important to include practical experience in various Catholic devotions.  Sit down with her and say a rosary, Divine Mercy chaplet, the first day of a novena, etc.  Even if she understands all the doctrines, the world of Catholic devotions is a very broad, very new world for her. 

And, of course, make sure she understands the wisdom and some of the details about NFP.  For me, this was one thing that made me pretty angry before I understood that it wasn’t just the rhythm method and marriage wasn’t a ticket to pleasure however you can get it.  She may not think marriage is on the horizon for her anytime soon, but it can sneak up on you fast, and it’s sometimes hard to find good mentors about NFP.

I converted in 2007.  The things that I wish I knew are similar to recentBaylorgrad….Prayers.  Now, keep in mind, my RCIA experience was lacking in many areas anyway, which is not the norm.  I wasn’t told about the rosary..at all.  I didn’t know what a novena meant until I had heard something on here, and asked my husband.  I didn’t know any of the ‘normal’ prayers.  I didn’t know what happened or was to be done at confession (we were told that confession wasn’t necessary and that the format normally seen was only in movies…as I said, lacking).  Along with all of the faith based lessons, I think a lot of the general day to day things that are taken for granted by most cradle Catholics can be missing from the RCIA teachings.  I would have loved an entire lesson on just the different prayers, when they are used, etc.

What I wanted from my RCIA program was a study of what makes Catholics unique: things like the Liturgical Year, the structure and purpose of each Sacrament, the types of and some specific Catholic prayers, the “Top 10” saints, an overview of the Theology of the Body. I didn’t get that from the program, but I did find a bumper sticker with the call letters to the local Catholic Radio affiliate outside of class one night, so it all worked out.

I converted way back in 2002. My (now) husband was my sponsor. The best thing he did was give me a tour of our parish church building, naming all the statues and showing me which gestures go where. Even now I am sometimes caught out by irregular traditions - Marian prayers at various times of year and familiar hymns sung to the ‘wrong’ tune! (I grew up Church of England).

I am not a convert, but one family I know converted as husband, wife and one child.  Later they had 2 more children.  When the third was either newborn or still in utero, they learned that you should baptize your children as soon as practical after their birth.  Their little guy was a few years old and unbaptized because they had no idea.  So, I agree with those posting above and add that basic Catholic living, the things we take for granted if we’ve been raised in the Catholic faith and do or know almost instinctively, would be very useful.  Perhaps look at a calendar with Catholic feast days and note anything that strikes you: such as May being Mary’s month with May crownings…or October being the month of the rosary and why…or explaining the seasons of Advent/Christmas and Lent/Easter.  Think about special family events and describe how the sacraments are often celebrated (what is an appropriate gift for a First Holy Communion or a Confirmation?)  And then think about daily or weekly life and what things or or others commonly do: gestures like genuflecting in church or making the sign of the cross at “random” times like while passing a church or a cemetery (not that they have to, but so that they are “in” on the action)...or the practices of saying a morning offering or praying a Hail Mary when an ambulance passes or kissing crucifixes (again, not to make them do it - many cradle Catholics do not - but to help them fit in more by knowing what is going on around them).

Prayers is a good one. As a convert, I’ve picked up the ones I need to know for the devotions I like and before Mass (like the Angelus), but I *still* don’t know ones that it seems every cradle Catholic grows up with (like the Prayer to St. Michael).

Perhaps this one isn’t as necessary, but it took me a while to figure it out on my own, since it was never covered in class - religious orders. What differentiates them, what does it mean to have a charism (which is useful for lay people too), etc.

Finally, and perhaps this seems really silly, I wish we had practiced taking Communion by the mouth. Our priest encouraged us to do it, but my sponsor had never done it before, and so I spent a lot of time winging it at first, not sure if I was opening my mouth wide enough, etc. Not really the kind of pressure and thoughts you want to be having when receiving the Eucharist.

I was going to echo what Michelle said about practical Catholic living.  How do you celebrate the liturgical year? Christmas? Lent? Advent? Easter? Feast days? Etc. 
The other thing that I found helpful was knowing where I can go to continue to learn and grow in my faith.  Some of the ones I enjoy are listening to Catholic radio - EWTN, Catholic Answers live; websites that have good information - catholic.com, faith & family, fisheaters, etc.

I think a tour of the church and confessional is a great help.  Last year I taught the “Faith Station” at our parish’s VBS.  It included a detailed tour of the Church, and some explanations of why we do what we do at Mass.  Many of the adult leaders commented they learned as much as the kids!  Congratulations to your friend’s friend, and what a blessing she has to have you as her guide!

The two things that have really been my “well, what do I do now?” are the various Catholic prayers/devotions (I mean how are you supposed to hold those Rosary beads so they don’t clank all over the place) and the Latin parts.  I still can’t say/sing all the Latin parts of the Mass that we do during Advent and Lent and it’s frustrating.  I wish I knew a) where to find them in my hymnal, and b) how to actually pronounce the Latin.  Our parish will put sheets of music/words for us sometimes if it’s a new setting, and it includes the phonetics, but it’s still hard to follow.  That’s probably something that people who have been hearing the Latin since their infancy don’t realize is difficult for converts.

As a former CRE, I would often lament over what our catechumen’s were not taught (and I had no control over that area of RE).  What I came to realize that there is no way to cover everything (although the model used in Europe - 2-3 years of classes - may help), I also realized how important it is for people to know how to learn themselves!  I chose a select number of orthodox publishers I knew I could trust, and ordered enough catalogs from each to hand out to each catechumen.  This way, they knew where they could go to learn more about what they were most interested in/confused by, etc.  I also handed out a sheet with a list of trusted websites they could go to for answers to questions.

I agree with others here that a focus on our IDENTITY as Catholics is greatly lacking.  Our faith must permeate our lives, not just require us to go to Mass once a week.

I think all your suggestions are wonderful.  I also think a very deep discussion on the sacraments is very important.  The history of the sacraments, biblical references, the continuity of the sacraments all through life-these elements really set us apart from Protestants.

As a “life-long” Catholic who learned by osmosis!! My suggestion is to realize the new journey is a life-long learning process. Take advanage of any bible studies, conferences,newsletters, etc., anything that teaches about our faith and get involved!! Ask questions when you don’t understand, do research when it seems confusing, read a variety of Catholic publications ( some are good, some aren’t), be a student. There is so much to learns and benefit from in the Church. God bless you and your help to this new- to -be -Catholic.

As a convert, I sincerely wish that I had more quickly learned to talk with Mary, and ask for her intercession.  Still learning!

I’m a cradle Catholic, but I would imagine that one of the more difficult aspects of conversion would be the transition to feeling “culturally Catholic” - which other commenters have mentioned. I’m thinking not only of devotions and living liturgically but of the general Catholic…ness of it all. A book like The Bad Catholic’s Guide to Good Living is probably not for the faint of heart, but something along those lines - to help make sense of the seemingly random and/or wacky traditions that those who grew up in our faith might consider just part of being Catholic.

Kevin Orlin Johnson’s Why Do Catholics Do That? is a great, easy read, giving an overview of various aspects of the practice of our faith.  The How-To Book of the Mass is another great reference.

I would imagine that another aspect of conversion that might be difficult would be dealing with the fact that there are so many Catholics who may seem less knowledgeable about the faith or active in their practice thereof - it just seems like that would be frustrating, maybe, for a new convert who was full of fervor and the hunger to learn more. I don’t say that as a judgment upon either cradle Catholics or converts, or to open up some huge tangent - I just think there’s probably a disconnect for many converts in that regard, to go from an RCIA environment to the “welcome! Here comes everybody!” reality of parish life.