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Email a FriendWith three children ages 5 months, 4 1/2 & 6 years old busy is an understatement. I often feel pulled in all directions and wonder when it will ever calm down. But I constantly remind myself that it’s really not that bad and one day I will look back wondering when and how they grew up so fast.
I catch myself saying “when things calm down I’ll____” often. It can be anything from volunteering more at my childrens school, attending daily mass, gardening, doing more with my mom. You name it I’m sure I can find a lot of things I’d like to do today, tomorrow or next week (but just can’t).
I try not to feel guilty or upset about things I am not able to do very often these days. I also try to maintain a positive attitude and not get into a negative funk about what I’m not able to do or am missing out on. Finding time for prayer, even if it isn’t as often as I’d like, is also helpful and very comforting for keeping me “up”.
When Things Calm Down…
Posted by Lisa Hendey in Just me on Friday, February 05, 2010 6:44 PM
This week has been a whirlwind of fun and excitement for our family. Many of you know that I’m in the midst of the launch of my first book, The Handbook for Catholic Moms: Nurturing Your Heart, Mind, Body and Soul. Never in a million years would I have imagined that I—a stay at home mom from Fresno—would have some of the experiences that I’m living through these days. Every moment is a true blessing - I wonder if God is tired of my thanking me every five minutes for these circumstances, large and small…
And yet I’m also praying up a storm for perseverance, for humility and for the strength to accomplish the many items on my “to do” list. The most of important of those, of course, are related to serving my family. While I’m in the midst of “book launch mania”, my son Eric is prepping for his Academic Decathlon competition tomorrow and has had three college interviews in the past week. Adam is busy with all of his activities, and Greg is keeping us all moving along in his rock solid way. I find myself wanting to remember each moment of this excitement, and yet so busy that it’s tough to savor it all. Yesterday, I said to one of my friends, “When things calm down a bit, I will ___.” She laughed at me—at the thought that my life would be “calm” any time soon. In retrospect, she may have been right! And yet, I wouldn’t trade this season—these moments of fullness and wonder—for anything.
Do you find yourself saying, “When things calm down, I will ___ (you fill in the blank!)”? Do you think that if you can just get through the next week, the next month, the school year, or even just today, that life will be less hectic? How do you cope with and still savor the extreme busyness that can fill a mom or dad’s waking moments? How do you keep yourself “up” and on top of managing multiple priorities? Do you have a saintly companion who helps you to stay motivated?
Comments
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Melissa, thanks for your insights! Knowing you and at least one of your precious little ones helps me to smile at the thought of you and your wonderful life as I’m reading this. Let’s pray for one another and all of our “busy” friends during these wonderful days!
As a teacher and a mom, it’s tough. My job involves giving and giving, and then I come home to my boys and I give more. I hate the fact that I’m often so burned out in the evenings that I can’t give my kids the attention they deserve.
So my refrain is, “When spring break comes, I will ...”
I am a huge Mary fan, so she helps. At times, though, when it’s five PM and the boys are grabbing toys from each other’s hands and melting down and I’m frazzled out of my mind, I remember a line I once heard: “Mary only had one child, and really, how bad could He have been?” 
A month ago I was feeling very overwhelmed, but now things have really settled down. I only have one child, and I only work 15 hours/week, so I would say that I’m much less busy than the average mom. Last month, however, with Christmas and just having started my new part-time job, I was having trouble keeping my head above water. Now I’m at the point where I’m caught up enough that I think it’s time to start an exercise program. No more excuses!
Lisa, I just ordered your book from Amazon, and I can’t wait to read it!
Lisa, I JUST had an e-mail conversation with a new friend who is in the midst of launching a children’s book review sight about how to “do it all” without missing out on the little moments. I’m going to forward this conversation string to her! I can especially identify with not wanting to miss the last moments with the college-bound children. So bittersweet to watch them flag their wings in preparation for flying on their own. Our sixth child was born as our first and second were doing the college interviews and I’ll never forget the haivng morning sickness in several college cafeterias across the country! At the time it seemed like just too much, but sitting here this morning with the now two year old throwing colored pencils all over the floor while I wait to Skype with the college kids, well, tears are welling up, and I wouldn’t change a thing about my always-on-the-go life. There will be time to rest in heaven!
I’ve given up waiting for it to slow down, I just try and enjoy the slower moments. But, I remember telling a friend once when my 4th child was one that I wanted to run the small local race the following summer, she just laughed and said, “Don’t you think you’ll be pregnant by then?” She was right…3 kids later and I still haven’t done it. Yeah, I know I could have still done it while pregnant, but I’m still trying to find time to exercise. Maybe when things slow down…......my word is further55….I better find time before I can any further towards 55.
I love your laundry room Lisa!
Something I’ve instituted this last year is a day of rest once a week. It’s usually Sunday but not always. It’s usually not all day but a good portion of it. Most of the time I’m tired so I don’t do much but check blogs, watch TV, read, play games with my son. Of course, I still do a load of laundry, the dishes and light cooking. I have thoughts of doing spirtual reading but I’m usually ‘tuned’ out. I’ve also stopped running myself ragged during the busy week. I don’t run around like a chicken with my head chopped off- I go about my day keeping busy but not crazy-busy. What gets done, gets done, what doesn’t, doesn’t. The reason I’ve made these changes is because last year I ran myself ragged trying to do everything. I went to the doctor because my heart was racing. She had my cortisol levels (the stress hormone) checked and they were the second highest she’s seen in 15 years of practicing. When I look back at it, my body felt horrible- like I was running on fumes but couldn’t stop. Now that I have a better handle on how to handle busyness, I feel better equipped to meet the day in an authentic, healthy way. Prayer throughout the day, humility, Mary, The Sacred Heart image, The Divine Mercy image have all helped me discover the God’s rythmn for my life. I thank God for that wake up call.
Thanks for asking Lisa!
Lisa, your book is awesome! It arrived a few days ago, and I saved it for today because we planned for my husband (who has President’s Day) to take my son to the indoor playground for the morning. Normally on the rare event that I have the house to myself, I have to spend my time doing chores. But this time I planned ahead and got all caught up so I could read your book with a cup of coffee. It is an amazing resource. I know that it’s something I will refer to often in the future. Due to space issues (I have a small house), I only keep books that I know I will need to refer to repeatedly. The others get passed on once I’m done reading them. Yours is definitely a keeper!
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