Work and Play
Posted by Danielle Bean in Family on Monday, September 08, 2008 11:31 AM
I spent about 20 minutes yesterday morning playing Scrabble Junior
It felt like 90.
“It’s your turn, Gabby,” I found myself saying over and over again, hoping my abruptness did not betray my feelings of frustration. And mind-numbing boredom.
“Look for a place to put your D,” I told her. “How about over here?” My finger tapped the board impatiently.
No go. Gabby is a smart girl. She will not be told where to place her letters. She found a spot for an S instead. She completed a word of her choosing, and finally—oh, finally!—she won.
I helped her pick up the pieces to put the game away and wondered about my feelings of frustration. Don’t good moms enjoy spending time with their children?
A young mother once sent me this question:
How much time should a mom of preschoolers spend playing with the kids versus housecleaning, etc? I have 3 children, 4, 2 and 7 mos and I often feel guilty because I am unable to play with them as much as they want me to. I try to balance work and play, but my kids seem to constantly want my attention. Any thoughts?
I do wonder about the idea of parents needing to play with their kids. Parents in past generations never did worry about that kind of thing, but now I hear quite often from mothers who feel guilty for not “playing more” with their children.
Well, I don’t do a whole lot of “sit down and play” with my kids, but I don’t tend to feel bad about that. Isn’t that what their brothers and sisters are for?
I read with my kids. I teach my kids everything from cooking skills to stacking blocks. I pray with my kids. I take interest in their activities and make conversation with them about things that are important to them. I make every effort to stop what I am doing, look them in the eyes, and answer their every question throughout the day and respond to their needs, no matter what else I am doing.
Must I play Candy Land too?
Part of me thinks this expectation that “good moms” get down on the floor and play with their preschoolers is a symptom of something that’s “off” in our culture—a new norm of smaller families and parents who aim to be their children’s buddies instead of nurturers, guides, role models, providers, leaders, and disciplinarians.
I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with playing with your kids. It certainly can be fun and can be a nice way to spend time together. But I do think there is something wrong with lots of mom and the kids, down-on-the-floor playtime being considered an important part of being a good mother.
For heaven’s sake, who then would do the laundry? And how will dinner ever get made?
What do you think?
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