Seek Christ Together
by Dan Burke in Marriage on Friday, October 23, 2009 6:00 AM
When my wife and I were going through marriage preparation, our mentor couple said something to us that we have never forgotten:
“Your primary role in marriage is to help one another to heaven.”
It was a striking comment that seems so obvious now, but at that time, it was a completely new thought.
Responsible for one Another
It’s a funny thing. I don’t think it is hard for responsible, God-loving adults to have this thought about their kids. We instinctively know that God has placed these souls specifically and purposefully in our care.
Even with a “Theology of the Body” informed understanding that marriage is fundamentally an act of the complete giving of oneself to another, this idea of specifically bearing responsibility for one another’s spiritual growth and destiny was captivating to both of us.
The good news for us is that we started our relationship out on the right foot. When we began the discernment process for marriage we proposed to pray with one another regularly.
Though we both instinctively committed to do this, the idea was daunting because of the level of intimacy it required – the level of unique exposure that only prayer with someone whom you care about causes.
Source of Strength
Despite the initial discomfort, though, we set out on the course and have maintained it unwaveringly (yes, even after arguments). Our mutual spiritual commitments are in fact, the most powerful source of the strength of our marriage. It has carried us through a few very difficult periods and has resulted in Christ remaining at the center of our relationship even when he was not always in the center of our own hearts.
So, we leave you with this question: Are you specifically, purposefully, and regularly helping your spouse to heaven?
Seek Him – Find Him – Follow Him – Together.
—Dan Burke and his wife Stephanie are parents of four children. Dan is executive director of Circle Media (publisher of Faith & Family). This article is first in a series of marriage articles to appear at Catholic Spiritual Direction.
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