Come to the Table
by Ana Braga-Henebry in Homemaking on Thursday, October 22, 2009 6:00 AM
I like to say that everything I know I learned around the family dinner table.
I cannot think back to those family meals without thinking of my brothers discussing physics and its curious properties, my mother telling us a great, long story (most time in installments that spanned more than a week), or my Dad expressing some wisdom in his laconic but piercing ways.
In our own family life, armed with the pleasant memories of sitting down for family nightly dinners, my husband and I never strayed from the ritual. He arrives late from work one hour away, and often times it is after 8 pm that we sit down. But we sit down together, every night! And this is the time we talk … and learn to love!
All or Nothing
There is a huge disparity in our society between formal and home dinners: One is a perplexing and intimidating set of silverware and glasses one needs to be taught how to handle — and while in uncomfortable, possibly rented, clothes in which breathing is difficult let alone eating. And the other is a kitchen-served, grab-your-plate- and- go-to-the-TV non-event.
Family mealtime is facing extinction in many quarters, sociologists tell us. Why set a table if it’s easier to grab and go? Why use plates that must be washed if paper plates are so much easier? Why sit together if it is so hard to find a time when everyone is at home?
The answer is short and clear: Family meals are sacred in God’s eyes.
Our Lord Himself chose meal times to impart great and essential information to his friends. Consider His first miracle at the wedding feast of Cana, the miracle of the fishes and loaves, and the transformation of the natural to the supernatural at the Last Supper.
Evelyn Birge Vitz, author of my favorite cookbook A Continual Feast: A Cookbook to Celebrate the Joys of Family and Faith Throughout the Christian Year
“‘Breaking bread together’, as the beautiful old expression goes, encourages the growth of bonds of love and commitment. And how many of the memorable moments of our lives occur at meals!”
Copying Christ
When a family sits together to eat, my mother used to say, they are a reflection of the Last Supper. So setting the table for a family meal, night after night, and washing dishes, and waiting for everyone to be home to eat together, all of these things are part of family activity that reflects the love of God. The young children learn about family love as they set a nice table with pride, the teenagers learn about work and duties as they do dishes with their father, everyone learns the joy the comes in the smells and tastes of a dinner made with love by their mother, many times using the fruits of their own summer garden.
Inviting another family or two to share our food is one of our favorite family activities. We do it often and we keep it simple. We pick up the living and dining room and I straighten up the first floor bathroom and that’s about it. The house is never perfectly clean and the guests never seem to mind. They mostly arrive through the kitchen where I may have a cheese and cracker tray in the works and a festival of colors and smell on the stove and the counter, getting ready to be brought to the table.
Come to the Table
Again and again, we have enjoyed the delighted smiles when the guests arrive and express delight at the sight of a table simply set: a white, clean tablecloth, fresh picked flowers when available, perhaps candles. Pretty plates, water and wine glasses, and silverware complete the inviting look. Our little girls have enjoyed learning to fold cloth napkins and they love doing that before the arrival of our guests. The food is always simple and plentiful, and if the guests bring something, it invariably complements things perfectly.
Best yet is the conversation that ensues! Sitting together around an inviting table seems to entice interesting anecdotes from guests and hosts alike: historical curiosities, geographical accounts, recent happenings, or even the recitation of a poem or two.
Would it be easier to have paper plates, semi-prepared dinners in front of the TV? Certainly! But it wouldn’t be so much fun. More significantly, it wouldn’t advance by a single step our duty to build a civilization of love and culture.
If you have refrained from inviting another family over to throw a simple dinner party, try it! It is as fun for the host family as it is for the guests! You will be delighted and never look back!
— Ana Braga-Henebry has a Masters Degree in Humanities from the University of Texas at Dallas. She has written myriad articles for Catholic homeschool periodicals, has been writing book reviews for over ten years, and blogs from the family acreage in South Dakota.
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