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Does Motherhood Make You Stupid?

by Kate Wicker in Family on Tuesday, June 30, 2009 6:00 AM

Shortly after the birth of my second daughter, I nearly brushed my teeth with diaper ointment, put a carton of eggs in the pantry and spelled my own last name wrong on an envelope (Wiker instead of Wicker) – and that was a good day.

And I’m not alone in my spacey plight either. I know countless mothers who lament their brain cells exponentially die off as their waistlines widen with pregnancy and that they continue perishing after their babies have arrived on the scene.

But even though diapers and ditzy spells may seem to go hand in hand, I’m vehemently opposed of the notion that motherhood makes us dumber and that raising children – while society claims it’s very important – is often dull and depraved of intellectual stimulation.

For me, the process of teaching and interacting with a young child demands multitasking, acting quick on my feet, and a good dose of creativity. In any given day, I’m part accountant (quickly calculating the estimated cost of the groceries in my cart), part school-teacher (“B is for ball.”), part engineer (erecting a makeshift blockade that will keep my toddler from emptying the bookcase for the umpteenth time), part doctor (determining whether symptoms warrant immediate medical care or just some TLC), and part chef (concocting a meal my toddler will actually eat instead of chucking across the kitchen).

That said, wakeful babies, strong-willed preschoolers, and all of the responsibilities kids bring can undoubtedly zap their share of brainpower.

Here are a few ways to satisfy your minds amidst finger paint, talking veggies and temper tantrums:

Face the music.

Avoid the Barney syndrome and play music that you like. A big fan of the Beatles? Rock to “Can’t Buy Me Love.” Don’t forget: While you’re enjoying your favorite tunes, you’re exposing your child to a wide variety of music. Older children can attend musical concerts with you and even the youngest tots will benefit from hearing their mommy sing (singing to your child can help with her language development). Mom Bridget Ivey didn’t give up singing when her first came along. “My son came to my concerts with his dad,” she says. “It’s amazing how still and quiet he was listening to the music.”

Stay in touch with the professional world.

Just because your job title becomes mom doesn’t mean you have to cut all ties with your former professional life. Jill Pruitt, a mom of two, taught high school math before becoming a full-time mom and she still tutors occasionally. “I love doing it. It keeps my brain in math mode,” she says.

LaReese Bennett, a busy at-home mom who also homeschools her children, turned her vocation of being a mother into a job by becoming a certified instructor for the Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth. “Turn an interest into a home based business,” she says. “You can stay home but still have contact with adults.”

Stay current.

Talk radio is an easy way to stay on top of current events without exposing your children to television news’ often violent images. “Listen to talk radio while working in the kitchen or doing other chores,” Bennett suggests.

Get moving.

A number of studies show that exercise can rev up brainpower. And even if breaking a sweat doesn’t turn you into Einstein, there’s no doubt it helps make you feel re-energized.  In addition, Bennett uses exercise as a social outlet. “For me, three miles go by quickly with another mom to talk to.  The kids play in a playground while we walk around a track,” she says.

Take field trips.

Practice art appreciation and periodically pay a visit to an art museum with the kids. Or visit the zoo and read about all of the animals and their habitats. Catch a play or ballet with older children or use a date night with your husband to do something more urbane than catching the latest flick. Getting out of the house – even if it’s just to the local park – are good for the brain and for the soul.

Think outside of the box.

There are numerous ways to marble intellectual activities into your day. For instance, subscribe to a “word of the day” on a website like Dictionary.com and challenge your word power (and your kids’ if they’re old enough). Watch Jeopardy. Do a crossword puzzle. Explore new recipes. Unleash your inner thespian and act out stories for your kids.

Follow your dreams.

Maybe you’ve always wanted to fly an airplane. Start reading about aviation and sign up for a flight lesson.  Dreamed of writing a novel? Then tell yourself you’ll write something – even if it’s just a few sentences – every single day. Who knows? Maybe your far-fetched dream will someday help pay for your child’s college tuition. Even if it doesn’t, you’ll be glad you gave it a shot.

—Kate Wicker is a super-smart mother of three. Visit her at KateWicker.com.

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