Graduation is Just the Beginning
by Ana Braga-Henebry in Family on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 6:00 AM
When I moved to the United States long ago it took me quite a while to get used to the seasons and school years being the exact opposite of how I had grown up in Rio de Janeiro. Over the years, I have begun to see the advantages: The month of May being one of graduations, recitals, and celebrations is a soothing thing. Who better than our Blessed Mother to comfort, guide, see us through a month of such milestones?
This year, for the third time, we have a high school senior at home. Seniors close the school year immersed in a season of beginnings as well as endings: last papers to be written, new laptop to be loaded with music and contacts, a final round of standardized tests and college visits, a beginning of summer to-do lists! There are graduation celebration plans and the inevitable agony of making a college decision—at least in our house, college is a decision that comes with a hefty dose of angst.
And then the usual questions begin: Aren’t you so proud of his accomplishments? Isn’t it wonderful to have another child out of the house? Don’t you just want to cry to see it all done?
I am proud of his accomplishments! And in the case of this child, there are many unique accomplishments to be proud of, as he took college Greek classes starting at in 8th grade and has tutored gratis quite a bit. Yet I feel like answering no, no, I am not happy to see him go, I don’t think I am all done, and ... I am too busy to find time to cry! What with the garden to put in, the bathroom to paint and redecorate, in-laws arriving, and the old fridge that threatens imminent death on the eve of another graduation open house.
Okay, so there are a few tears. The thought of his absence can sometimes overwhelm me with sadness.
To other parents undergoing the same plight, I like to say “Imagine if they were sitting at home with no ambitions ... that would be so much worse.” The certainty of a college decision carefully chosen, however, coupled with his academic passion and eagerness to learn, crowns the efforts of the month.
We have an older son who is already out of college and employed for a year, and a daughter who a rising college senior. From them I have learned something: that no, the journey is never completed. We are still parents and they still learn from us, one way or the other.
In fact, this past month I flew to Brazil on an emergency basis to see my father who suffered a mild stroke. I arranged things and then left pretty much overnight, meeting our firstborn in the Chicago airport.
How did this happen? I had called him the night before, and he did not hesitate. He said he would meet at the airport and fly to Brazil with me. He is my dad’s godson and wanted to be of service. I was so proud of him, and he was thankful to have an opportunity to learn and serve.
This same son calls often from his bachelor apartment, usually to ask a kitchen question. Here is a brilliant student, a very smart kid with almost perfect SAT scores, calling me to ask the most mundane questions. How do I reheat rice, mom? I simply love it! But what I love even more is the fact that he has a good, service-able heart, a heart with priorities in the right places.
Our older daughter, abroad for a college year, sends lists of things she needs, video-skypes to discuss trivial and not-so-trivial issues, and is constantly discovering in me a new mothering facet she hadn’t seen before. Allergies, boyfriends, foreign etiquette ... she is becoming an adult and my mothering needs constant adjustments!
Is my motherly journey complete with our last senior? In a way, yes. The truth is, no journey on this side of Paradise is ever completed. Our lives are continuous learning, praying, and working journeys. Or at least they should be. The Kingdom of God is at hand and it calls us, as the Master calls the field laborers: it is our job to answer the call, daily, until that blessed day when we see His Holy Face.
— Ana Braga-Henebry has a Masters Degree in Humanities from the University of Texas at Dallas. She has written myriad articles for Catholic homeschool periodicals, has been writing book reviews for over ten years, and blogs from the family acreage in South Dakota.
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