Healed By Panic Attacks
by Tammy Darling in Faith on Tuesday, January 19, 2010 6:00 AM
My heart was pulsating so rapidly I could barely breathe. Sweat beads dropped from my forehead. My hands became paralyzed in a contorted position. I was unable to move them, even by force. I began to hyperventilate. I felt like I was dying, and the longer it continued the more I wanted to.
I was taken to the nearest emergency room. Diagnosis: panic attack. It was the beginning of a very long year of recovery and healing — physically and spiritually.
When I had my first panic attack, I was at a very rebellious stage in my life. I had essentially put God on the back burner. My life was just too busy to bother with “God stuff.”
My panic attacks brought me back to reality: I did need God. More than I ever realized. I began counseling with a pastor, but every day was a struggle. I lived in constant fear of when, not if, the next attack would occur.
Back to the Bible
I began reading my Bible like never before. It truly became my lifeline. At first, I focused solely on verses pertaining to fear, peace, and God’s protection.
Over time, I expanded my horizons and began reading for pure enjoyment. Little by little my peace was returning.
After about six months, although the panic attacks had decreased but not ceased, I found myself desiring nothing more than to be with God — soaking up His Word, in prayer, and worshipping Him. It was the motivation I needed to take action.
God was finally the ultimate priority and authority in my life. And while God didn’t cause my panic attacks, He did use them to bring me back to Him.
Along the way I have learned that putting God first requires a conscious effort on my part; it will not come naturally. I must be persistent and determined to do whatever it takes to make sure He remains first in my life.
Sometimes that means letting go of things I want or want to do. I have cut down on my television viewing and decreased my computer time. I no longer read books that aren’t wholesome or listen to music that would not be pleasing to God. I now understand that these are all ways that I can put God first in my life.
“God Stuff”
In addition to cutting some things out, I knew I needed to replace them with that “God stuff” I used to despise. Prayer, Bible study and memorization, worship, and church activities are now a regular part of my life.
These are all things I needed to do to put God first in my life. What you need to do may look different. Consider what you need to do to make God first in your life.
We must remember that God will never call us into action for something for which He has not prepared us. We may feel unequipped, but He’s got us covered. As someone once said, God doesn’t call the equipped; He equips the called.
One way God prepares us for ministry is by using our experiences. Every trial, hardship, sorrow, or even victory can be used to train us for what lies ahead. These things may be used to strengthen and fortify our character. They may be used as a witness to others. Most likely, they will eventually be used for both purposes. God never wastes our experiences.
Jesus relates to each of us in terms we can easily understand. Because Simon (Peter) and Andrew were fishermen, Jesus told them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men” (Matthew 4:19). His call to them was put into terms based on their experiences.
Jesus trained by example. He personally demonstrated to His disciples how to serve, how to respond to persecution, how to lay hands on the sick so they will be healed, how to cast out demons, and more. Everything that Jesus taught His disciples He did by demonstration.
Be an Example
If we want others to follow Jesus, we must be the example to them that Jesus was to His disciples. By serving others, we teach that Jesus came to serve not to be served. By loving others unconditionally, we demonstrate God’s love for them.
The Bible itself is another way we are motivated into action. Everything we will ever need is contained within its pages. Scripture was given to us because it “is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works” (2 Timothy 3:16-17).
Just as Jesus called the disciples to action, He calls each one of us today to action. Do you hear His call? Will you respond, as the disciples did, with a commitment to action?
—Tammy Darling writes from her home in Three Springs, Pensylvania, where she also homeschools her four daughters.
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