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Email a FriendI have been married for 20 years to an educated, professional man who came from a lower-middle class family, was the first to go to college, and used to be ambitious. About 5 years after we were married, I started getting a large check every year from my parents, who are distributing their estate now to avoid estate taxes at death. I am not sure it has been a good thing. Because we know we have that “cushion” in investment accounts, we are not careful with money. We have lived beyond his income for many years, because I get stressed by any debt, and end up selling investments to bail us out, so there are no consequences for overspending. He has not saved anything for retirement, or put a penny into education accounts; (we have 2 in college now). After tithing on it, I use the money for that. (He told someone that his retirement account is his wife’s inheritance.) There is a strain in our marriage. I resent his attitude towards the money that generations of my forbears worked hard for and lived frugally to be able to pass on. He thinks I am selfish because I don’t have a job, (other than being a SAHM—with more than half of our children being special needs), which means his paychecks go to family expenses, while the checks I get go to funds that I control. I control them because when I put them in joint accounts, he bought large expensive “toys.”
Positive Inheritance
by Phil Lenahan in Homemaking on Wednesday, September 01, 2010 6:00 AM
“Vanity of vanities, says Qoheleth, vanity of vanities! All things are vanity!”
Ecclesiastes 1:2 is one of the most famous phrases in the Bible. The author goes on to discuss a variety of issues, noting the fleeting nature of so many of man’s pursuits.
When it comes to the creation of wealth, the author says, “Here is one who has labored with wisdom and knowledge and skill, and yet to another who has not labored over it, he must leave property. This also is vanity and a great misfortune” (Ecclesiastes 2:21). When one looks to the acquisition of wealth as an end in itself, it’s easy to see why the author concludes that “this also is vanity.” After all, we don’t take our possessions with us when we die. But that’s not the end of the story.
When one grows and uses wealth in the context of his responsibility as a steward of Providence, the end result isn’t vanity, but instead a beautiful use of talents and resources that builds up God’s kingdom on earth.
Building a Faithful Future
This brings us to the issue of inheritances. One’s responsibility as a steward of Providence doesn’t end with creating and using wealth in ways pleasing to God during his lifetime. It also includes doing one’s best to see that the wealth is used well in succeeding generations. The best way to accomplish that is to make sure that the next generation has a solid understanding and formation in what it means to be a steward of Providence.
In the popular movie The Ultimate Gift
Blessing or Curse?
Inheritances don’t always work out as well. I remember receiving a call from a woman who shared about her family’s financial difficulties, which included a relatively modest income and the accumulation of unproductive debt. When I asked what the source of the income was, she shared that her husband received nearly $50,000 per year from a trust. That was the only income they had. I asked why her husband wasn’t gainfully employed, and it was obviously a sensitive question. The inheritance had changed the motivations of her husband for the worse.
Scripture speaks of inheritances as if describing two sides of a coin. Proverbs 13:22 says, “A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children.” Yet Proverbs 20:21 says, “An inheritance gotten hastily in the beginning will in the end not be blessed.”
Ultimately, whether an inheritance is positive or negative depends on if it assists the person receiving the gift in being a better steward of Providence. God love you!
—Phil Lenahan is president of Veritas Financial Ministries and author of 7 Steps to Becoming Financially Free: A Catholic Guide to Managing Your Money Workbook
Comments
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Gosh! I’m so, so sorry for your disenchantment regarding your husband and finances. (I was totally dismayed!) I will pray for you, Anonymous, and your husband and children. I wish I were where you are now to hug you and help you in any way possible. Please remember—and this is not with trite, but—that God is with you…
Hello friends, I have a situation which I would like to share with other’s that I would like some help with. I have a friend which I dislike at the moment.
Description’ long black hair, she has a mouth like a horse basically she is a horse but she also has a nose like a pig, it is horrible.
About her mouth when she smiles at me I feel physically sick.
Thank yo. Please help, I am in need of help for buying her a tooth brush and money for a nose job, thanks.
this lass sounds like a bitch bet she is one of these people that thinks she is better than every one els (right?) but you have to think about what you are saying befor you say things about other people on the internet and it is a silly thing to do if you have something to say you should say it to that person that is all.
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