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Email a FriendPosted by Elizabeth on Sunday, Nov 13, 2011 8:15 PM (EDT):
Proving again, that the greatest gift you can give your kids is another sibling!!
Return of the Siblings
Miracles happen.
by Daria Sockey in Family on Sunday, November 13, 2011 6:33 PM
“I can’t wait! Only four more days till Thanksgiving!”
This from a picky eater with little use for sweet potatoes, stuffing, or cranberries. I looked up from my grocery list to ask my 10-year-old what was the big deal.
“Duh, Mom! The big kids are coming home!”
She shook her head at my density, then skipped away, as visions of her two 20-something sisters and one college-age brother danced in her head.
My two resident teenagers were in pretty high spirits over the imminent arrival, as well. I paused from my inventory of onions and pumpkin to ponder the Return of the Siblings. It’s one of the best features of the Large Family System (acronym: LAFS). And one that I wasn’t prepared for, having read one sad story too many about the Emptying Nest.
Furthermore, I had difficulty recalling any huge love affair going on between the big kids and the little kids while they all lived here. On the contrary, what resounds in my memory are such immortal lines as:
“Mah-ah-om! It’s not fair! Just because they’re older they get to do what they want and order us around, and they think they’re so cool but they’re not!”
“Mah-ah-om! Would you please tell these little twerps to quit bugging us while our friends are here?”
But all this acrimony is ancient history.
Now the big kids are welcomed like conquering heroes by youngsters eager to hear about life in college and the big world beyond home. The big kids, weary from the burdens of study or struggling with entry-level salaries, bask in their celebrity status. They’ve become mentors, dispensing wisdom on everything from fashion to career choices.
And they now enjoy playing together, whether it’s a game of volleyball or a four-way video game with a few cheerleaders on the side. With the passing of time, the little kids are turning into big kids, and the visiting elders can happily shed adult responsibilities while under Mom and Dad’s roof, and become little kids once more.
There’s one additional delight my husband and I take in the Return of the Siblings.
It’s to find out that somehow, when we weren’t watching, the adult children adopted our values after all.
Child Number 1 casually refers to attending monthly adoration at her parish. (Without Mom there to prod her into it?) Child Number 2 praises a pastor whose Mass is reverent and homilies profound. (This is the one who, not many years ago, gave us that “Yeah, right” look when we urged her to listen to the homilies.)
Miracles happen.
After Thanksgiving, when the visiting big kids had just departed, my youngest consoled herself with a favorite cartoon comedy, The Emperor’s New Groove. We laughed at the antics of self-centered Emperor Cuzco. Then Katherine said, “Cuzco is just like (big sister) Bernadette, ’cause he always thinks he’s so cool.”
Well, yes, I had to admit that our family drama queen bore some striking similarities to Cuzco. But then Katherine continued: “except that Bernadette really is cool.” I had to agree with that assessment, too.
Fortunately, the next Return of the Siblings was only a month away: Christmas brought them back to us again.
Christmas Eve was different this time.
Bill and I, feeling tired, opted for Mass on Christmas morning instead of midnight Mass. The kids drove to church by themselves.
Next morning, we were not roused before dawn. It seems that after Mass, they had stayed up an additional hour, sitting around the tree and sharing favorite memories.
It’s heady stuff when kids realize they’re finally old enough to talk about the “good old days.”
I guess absence really does make the heart grow fonder. These holiday reunions give us a tiny foretaste of that final family gathering where all will reunite, with no good-byes, in Our Father’s house.
—Senior writer Daria Sockey blogs at Coffee and Canticles.
Comments
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Posted by Camille on Sunday, Nov 13, 2011 8:19 PM (EDT):
Oh dear. This one brought a tear to my eye. As a mom on the other side of the spectrum with little ones running about and so many virtues and values yet to be instilled, I hope that one day when we are further along in the journey our results can be as wonderful as yours. God Bless and have a wonderful Return of the Siblings!
Posted by Daria Sockey on Sunday, Nov 13, 2011 8:33 PM (EDT):
Thanks, Camille! I’ll add a little postscript. The article above was written some years ago and is here reprinted from a back issue of Faith&Family;. This Thanksgiving, not only will we get a return of the siblings, but the first visit to our house from a brand new nephew/grandchild! Words can’t express how thrilling that is, to see everything come full circle. (and good heavens! myself turning into a matriarch!)
Posted by mothering spirit on Monday, Nov 14, 2011 9:32 AM (EDT):
What a great reflection! Brought back many memories of eagerly anticipating my older brother & sister’s return from college for Thanksgiving and Christmas. People sometimes thought the age difference in our family was odd - 11 & 9 years between me and my older siblings, and then 3 more of us like stair steps in a row - but it meant that we always enjoyed this spread between siblings. The older ones and the “littles” always got along famously, just like you describe. And the homecomings are so joyful!
Posted by karen on Monday, Nov 14, 2011 9:52 AM (EDT):
There is nothing like watching your big kids with the littles. It isn’t always sunshine and roses but when the 6’2” teenage boy gives the 1 year old shoulder rides.and the baby is.letting loose with that joyous belly laugh or the 5 yo and her bff have taken your 17 yo ‘prisoner’ and he is walking around thw house with two giggling girls wrapped around his lwgs, one can briefly fo
rget the broken model airplane, missing school book etc…..all the little irritatioms between big and little kids. We are waiting on our first collegw freshman to come home and yes her little brothers and sisters can’t wait. I have a feeling the 10 yr old will be suck wrapped to her sister and I really don’t think my oldest will mind at all.
Amen! Amen!
I think I am more excited then them…love the fact that even being away from all the craziness…that they miss us too.
My oldest got married this August and surprisingly the highlight of the wedding and picture taking was the big kids dancing with their younger siblings! It was such an inspiration to me to see them all together having a blast!!!
For my 10 year old’s birthday the highlight for him was having his new brother in law play soccer with all his friends!!! So, the joy just keeps multiplying!!!
Nice! I have to say, though, that my college student is not super-enthralled with the “Conquering Hero” role that his 9-year-old little brother wants to bestow on him. Not living with a 9-year-old full time anymore, my older son is less patient with 9-year-oldness than he used to be. It’s a challenge!
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