Great issue!  I’ve already read the whole thing. :>)

I love that you have a sweet Down’s boy on the cover! I have an aunt, just 5 years older than me, and she has Down Syndrome.  Our family is blessed to have Aunt Meg and Aunt Meg has made us all better, more compassionate people.  She exudes love.  I get to see her only once or twice a year but each time I am going to see her, I can not wait to receive one of her amazing hugs.  She’s funny, happy, and sassy.  I love her to pieces.  It wasn’t easy for my grandparents back in the late 50’s to raise a child with Down Syndrome because there weren’t the services and organizations to support couples like there are today.  But they were pioneers for change in their town and I am so proud to be their grandchild.  Wow! I think I know an extra Mother’s Day gift I can ask for this year - a subscription to your magazine!

Paul has been one of the greatest additions to our lives. His laughter is awesome.  He says few words, but the ones he says, count mightily;  Mom, Dad and I love you.  Thanks for making a cover to show that these children are beautiful and not to be so feared that they must be systemically erradicated.

Danielle, this is the best editorial we’ve ever had at F&F. I haven’t yet received my copies but I can already tell that this is one of our best issues. And I was totally and joyfully surprised to read that Ted Schleunderfritz is now on board. Ted did the cartoons for my two books and many covers for my publisher, Sophia Institute Press. He is also a talented icon writer. And all around good guy. Can’t wait to get my copies!

What a beautiful picture and wonderful feature! Thank you for giving children with Special Needs this attention.  My daughter, Jenna, is 12 and has Down Syndrome. She is a wonderful child and a joy to the world.  I agree with Rosa and appreciate her educating others on calling Jenna by her name and saying she has Down Syndrome instead of calling her Downs.  She would much prefer to be called a Ballerina (she takes dance) or a Hockey player or a good friend. 

It is very sad that the abortion rate is so high for those who find that their children will have this extra chromosome.  We were sad to discover the challenges that Jenna would have to face, but were treated to one of the most amazing children in the world.  The blessings she brings are endless.

Thank you again for this feature and arena to discuss this issue.  Blessings.

I have been hearing wonderful things about this edition of Faith & Family especially since my eighth child who came into the world a month ago was born with Down Syndrome. He is so precious and has moved my heart in a special way already. He needs me but most importantly I need him. I have been given a new heart and everyone has been telling me how happy I look and I know it is because of him and the even deeper appreciation for life God has given to me now. He is already been a witness to many when I bring him places and show him off people just fall in love. I can’t wait to read this magazine!

i have a great admiration for parents of child with special needs.

This brought up a thought I have never quite figured out.  The response of myself and other pregnany moms I know of “as long as he/she is healthy we are blessed”  I had too think long and hard about that at one point.  Aren’t parents of children who are born with health problems blessed?  How is it that we define blessed—when everything goes as expected and life is easy?

What disturbs me so much about the abortion rate for children identified as disabled in the womb is much more than the simple horror of so many abortions - it’s also that many disabled children cannot be identified in the womb.  And many people acquire disabilities later in life.  And when I see that 90% rate, to me that translates to a pretty high rate of parents with disabled children who, if they could turn back the clock, would abort that child.  All of those things just scare me, all the way around.

And the pressure from the medical community is immense and truly disgusting.  My 13 month old is disabled.  There were suspicions, but we weren’t sure until she was about 7 1/2 months old and started falling off the charts for meeting her developmental milestones—but during my routine 20 week ultrasound with her they saw something that concerned them and I got the hard sell on having an amnio—and then even a real strong-arm.  Thank God my husband was there with me and of the same mind, because I had a genuine FIGHT with the doctor over it.  I finally put it to the doctor quite simply: I asked how late an amnio can be done (his response - 32 weeks).  I told him that we would be keeping the child no matter what, and asked what the purpose of an amnio would be under those circumstances (he said it could determine whether the baby had a heart problem and would need to be delivered at a different hospital—and let’s not even get into that answer because it sounds like a bald-faced lie to me)... etc.  The risk of miscarriage? 1 in 400 for their practice.  I explained to this man that after miscarrying 5 babies, and losing a twin early in that pregnancy, I was already 3 for 9 on live children and that he could do an amnio at 32 weeks if he thought it would give information that was medically necessary to save her life and that could not be obtained in other ways—because a premature birth of a girl at 32 weeks has a huge survival rate.  He was ANGRY.  Really?  At me? For that?  Sounds to me like he was very used to bullying pregnant women.

And as for having admiration for parents of children with special needs: thank you.  I must say though, I used to feel that way too.  I’ve always been charmed by the little ones who need a little extra help and I did feel admiration for their parents.  But, honestly, they’re just children.  Sometimes it’s more tiring or more expensive or more difficult in some way, or just you have to learn to do things DIFFERENT, but at the end of the day, a special needs child isn’t someone walking around with a big flashing sign on them, she’s just your kid.  And just like all mothers and fathers do with their kids, you look down deep to who they are inside and bond with them and enjoy the honor of parenting them.  And just like all mothers and fathers do with their kids, you give them time outs and get frustrated sometimes and watch them have temper tantrums and all that too.

People used to say to me that God gives you a little something extra for a child with special needs.  And I thought it was humility or even false humility, but, no, it’s true.  And I think there is some biological component to it as well, because the hands-on caregiving time is exponential so there is more bonding (for example, my daughter did not learn to hold a bottle on her own until after her first birthday), but it’s more from God.  And so, I think this is why parents will say that these children are an honor and a blessing.  God is always there for you if you seek his help, but somehow these kids show that to you concretely and often.  And, they teach you not to take things for granted in a very measured way.  “When is she going to sit up?” slowly becomes “Is she going to sit up?” And there’s fear that you must face, of course, but you can only help, provide resources, pray: you can’t do it.  You have to leave it to God and to your child.  And IF she sits up, it will be one of the most amazing moments of your life, and if she doesn’t, you’ll deal with it and SHE’LL still be one of the most amazing people in your life.  But the truth is, what is admirable is not really the parent per se, but God’s power to shape a person if that person chooses to accept his help and grace.  Because if you have a child with special needs there are only two paths to follow: you can become patient, humble, endlessly giving and put your faith in God, or, you can be angry, frustrated and endlessly bitter.

Hi Danielle,
I wasn’t a subscriber until yesterday (I have 2 special needs children and this issue helped me identify even more with the F&F community).
However after I submitted my subscription it said I’ll receive the next issue of the magazine.  Is there any way I can buy this one too?  I really would love to have it.
Thanks!  Blessings!

Thank you for shedding light on the special needs community with this edition.

I would like to invite everyone to read my Mother’s Day post on my son Aidan who has cerebral palsy, epilepsy, severe mental retardation, and is non-verbal. 

http://tinylittleone.blogspot.com/2011/05/boy-who-made-me-mom.html

I also wanted to share a few links that I thought would be of interest to readers nationwide, both those with or without special needs children:
http://www.chop.edu - Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia is the only hospital that now has a maternity ward and NICU specifically for families giving birth to children with known birth defects.  In some cases the diagnoses are progressive and terminal.  If I were such a mother, this is where I would want to give birth.  CHOP also recently pioneered an in utero surgical procedure to treat spina bifida, a diagnosis which, like Down Syndrome, has a 90%+ termination rate. 
http://www.idscforlife.org  is the ONLY Down Syndrome-related organization that takes the position that it is wrong and discriminatory to abort babies due to a Down Syndrome diagnosis. 
http://www.eparent.com is a magazine for parents of special needs children.  They have a wealth of info on their site as well as FREE virtual access to medical seminars on various issues that are given nationwide.  The cost to attend such conferences in person is steep.

One big “elephant in the room” I’d like to raise awareness about in terms of the care of special needs children is the impact of such a diagnosis on two-income households or working moms.  I believe this describes most families today, is most relevant to my own experience, and involves many more logistical obstacles than it does for families that have a full time caregiver already at home. I believe many families who would otherwise support life in theory do not do so in reality because of the huge logistical obstacles and lack of safety nets in such situations.  To give specific examples:

1) special needs children were often first fragile preemies who may have spent months in the NICU, and, like my son, needed months before they were healthy enough to attend daycare.  Yet paid maternity leave is not the law, and only 17% of companies offer it.  In order to give birth and have insurance for prenatal care and labor, I had to quit my job, relocate to live with family, and be unemployed for two months to qualify for Medicaid.  Most mothers who are single or a significant breadwinner do not have such options and some even end up homeless.  I know because I volunteer with a home that cares for nine such young women.
* all stats from the US Dept of Labor

2) Most special needs children require special medical daycares.  A concept so rare many of my friends have never heard of one.  They are also expensive.  Non profit options typically operate 9-3pm four days a week, which is not really an option for moms who work the regular 8-5pm (and beyond) five days/week. 

3) 40 mil hourly workers in the US don’t have a single day of paid sick leave, and many do not work at jobs with 50+ employees, so their employers aren’t obliged to abide by FMLA rules, or offer such perks as lactation rooms.  To understand how this translates in real life… my niece is “typically developing” and had 3 doctor visits this calendar year, for which my sister took off from work or rearranged her schedule.  Meanwhile, my son had 52 specialist visits, 2 lengthy tests, 2 hospitalizations and a 9 day absence from school due to illness.  Not counting the 3 days I had to pick him up early due to illness. Prior to being school aged he had 8 therapies a week through Early Intervention.  Specialists do not have evening or weekend hours, and most employers would not hire employees who need to be absent what amounts to one or two months a year! 

I think those of us who truly believe that “every baby is a blessing” could do so much more to help address the real concerns of real families.  We can no longer pretend that educated parents don’t consider such financial and logistical impossibilities when weighing whether or not to abort.  It’s not just a matter of some sort of stigma against special needs.  We can (and need to) do so much more to help expand the options available to parents.

I am a subscriber to the magazine and love it.  I recently read an article by Sarah Johnson “Come as they may”  , and have a young mother that I feel would really benefit from this.  She is a friend of my Aunt and recently had her son (only child 1yr old) diagnosed with SMA,  I would like to email her the article but don’t know if that is possible if I need to I will tear it out and mail it to her but thought I would ask first.  Thank you for all you do I am always sooo excited to see the magazine in my mailbox , and read it over and over.  May God continue to Bless your work.