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Email a FriendOnce again Kate, you made me cry. This was awesome. And it came just in time. I was planning on going out in a mess of snow to shop for some toys for our local pregnancy center with four children and was starting to think I wouldn’t do it. I’m SO doing it now! Thank you for writing this, and I thank God for guiding me to this website this morning when I have been ignoring it lately. Merry Christmas and God bless!
Taming a Material Girl
Teaching children contentment
by Kate Wicker in Family on Tuesday, December 22, 2009 6:00 AM
A few summers ago a friend and her daughter invited my two oldest daughters and me over to her house to go swimming. But before we even had a chance to slip into our swimsuits, the sky turned black with rain.
To assuage our girls’ disappointment, we let them play in the downpour. My friend and I stood watching our little girls squeal with absolute joy as they ran through sheets of rain while taking turns holding a pink umbrella.
Later that night, Madeline announced, “Mommy, I want an ‘umbella.’”
Out of the oodles of toys her friend possessed, what Madeline coveted most was a simple kids’ umbrella. I smiled a bit too smugly. Ah, so my noble efforts to keep Madeline from turning into a materialistic, “I want an oompa loompa now, Daddy!” child were paying off!
Oh, how my (obnoxious) mommy pride was swelling.
Yet, one hard lesson I’ve learned in motherhood is to never, ever get too self-righteous. Just when you start to brag, just a little bit, about how Junior started walking at 9 months and everyone is starting to agree that your child is obviously gifted and will surely be reading Shakespeare by age 3 is when your whiz kid shoves his finger up his nose while grinning stupidly.
This is the law. Don’t ever question it because your kids will humiliate you.
So I really should not have been surprised when, in mid-December, Madeline said she wanted an easel for Christmas.
“What about the umbrella?” I asked, stunned.
“I don’t want an ‘umbella’ anymore.”
Well, an easel isn’t too outrageous. It’s not like she was asking Jolly Old Saint Nick for a plasma television or a diamond tiara. I could deal with this development, but my heart really sank when I returned home with a surprise for my little girl later that week.
“I have a special treat for you,” I said, showing Madeline a bobbing helium balloon.
“Oh! Thank you!”
She smiled and took the balloon, but then my little material girl asked, “Something else, too?”
What? My not-even-3-year-old was no longer happy with just a balloon? My baby certainly was. She smiled, watching the silvery Mylar globe dance around the room and giggled when I tugged at the blue string and made it gently pop her on the nose.
Madeline, meanwhile, was scribbling away in a coloring book.
By the next day the balloon had already lost most of its helium. I watched it slowly drift along, looking sad and forlorn, and I felt like my hopes for raising an unspoiled child were just as deflated.
Though, not so long ago I remember flipping through the thick holiday Sears catalogue and being bedazzled by all of the playthings displayed on its glossy pages. I remember, too, that while my parents taught me that while there was nothing inherently wrong in having or wanting things (provided you worked for them), you had to guard against becoming too attached to material goods. How? By always showing gratitude and by sharing your blessings with others.
I’m trying to teach my children similar lessons. Money, power, and things aren’t what corrupt people. It’s when they make them their idols and put more trust in their possessions than in God. Radical poverty is not possible or even realistic for all of us, but each of us is called to glorify God with our time, talent, and treasure.
Still, while I’m very careful and deliberate about the messages I send my children about what’s important in life – God, family, friends, simple pleasures like dancing in the rain – and what’s not – things, things, and more things, I’m realizing I can’t expect them to never hanker after the latest and greatest toy or to occasionally hope Mommy shows up with something a little more exciting than a balloon. (Especially when I’ve been known to pine for a new pair of shoes or a book off my Amazon Wish List.) What I can expect of them is to recognize where their true treasure lies.
St. Ignatius of Loyola said, “Man is created to praise, revere, and serve God our Lord, and by this means to save his soul. All other things on the face of the earth are created for man to help him fulfill the end for which he was created.”
Recently, I discovered that “all other things” just might include the loose change that finds its way to a child’s piggy bank.
“What are you going to do with all your money?” I asked as I watched Madeline sort her piles of coins.
“Give it to God or to the poor,” she said.
I’m not going to get too smug this time for I know that tomorrow my child might come down with a bad case of the gimmies. But maybe just maybe my little girl is starting to figure out a lesson it’s taken me a lifetime to learn – that the more you give away, the more God fills you up with the riches of His goodness.
—Senior writer Kate Wicker writes from her home in Georgia. Read her online at KateWicker.com.
Comments
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Posted by kg on Tuesday, Dec 22, 2009 8:45 AM (EDT):
What a great article. My son is two so for him, he only kinda get Christmas. We’ve talked about Jesus’ birthday, St. Nicholas, etc and have tried to avoid the whole Santa hoopla (although I am not extremely opposed to it, I just want to talk about Jesus when he is this little!). I still don’t even know if he understands about presents yet. Like you, I had a Mommy pride moment quickly quashed the other day. We’re at the register and my little guy is wearing a Santa hat. The cashier is loving it and says to him, “Aw, and who’s coming to your house soon?” On the inside, I am thinking: Oh he’s going to say Jesus or at least St. Nicholas!” I grinned and waited. “Our cat” said my guy wisely, for indeed, we had just let the cat out of the house when we left and knew he’d come back inside when we returned home. A great article…thank you and have a blessed and fun Christmas!
Posted by Sara on Tuesday, Dec 22, 2009 12:05 PM (EDT):
My husband and I are working on trying to foster gratitude in our children. Two years ago our Children were begging for a puppy. My husband and I decided that we would get them one for Christmas but told them that if they got a puppy that they would have a very small Christmas as far as gifts go. So two weeks before Christmas we got our puppy they were thrilled, then Christmas came and daughter #2 opened clothes and pajamas and before she got to her 2 toys she threw her gifts down and said they were all stupid and she didn’t want any of them. My other children and my husband and I just looked at her. My husband, realizing her life was in danger, jumped up to remove her to her room before I got to her. I wasn’t really sure what I was going to do, but I knew it would not be good. From that point on I was sure that this child was my material girl and needed to be tamed. Unfortunately it seems to be a slow process and one that requires patients so we are both growing in virtue!
Posted by Ab on Sunday, Dec 27, 2009 6:44 AM (EDT):
I feel your pain!! My son proved to be a material boy this Christmas. He is six and will turn seven in January, although I wasn’t sure he would make it to seven. LOL! Patience is a virtue. In our house Christmas has always been huge. Our children get everything they want for Christmas normally, as long as we can find it. This year we did have them narrow down their lists because my husband will be out of work for two weeks without pay. My son is a huge Wii fan so he ended up with about 8 games and a bunch of other stuff. When it came time on Christmas morning to open gifts from other people after seeing all the gifts from ‘Santa’ he threw a huge fit!!! I was mortified. My mother drove four hours to see us and see his face light up when he opened his gifts and here he was having a melt down and throwing the gifts that she got him in the floor!!! I am still so upset by these events that I can hardly speak about them without crying. So the theme for this year is its better to give than receive!! If you have any ideas please let me know. By the way my daughters behaved very well. They always set aside toys that they like but other people may like better that we give to the toy store I run every year.
Posted by Trisha Niermeyer Potter on Wednesday, Dec 23, 2009 2:29 PM (EDT):
I love this story. It’s so true that we do well to teach children that life’s not about getting “stuff.” We do that best by example, of course. Kids are watching and learning. Your daughter may want more than just a balloon or “umbella,” but when it comes down to it, she’s got a good heart and knows to choose God and serve the poor over choosing money and new toys (at least for today 
One of the best ways to avoid the “I wants” and “the gimmies” is to find volunteer opportunities for your family serving the poor and less fortunate. Our family volunteers weekly at a Missionaries of Charity home in DC. I bring all the children, young and old. The sisters are treasures from heaven. It’s one of my highlights of our week.
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