Turning to Mary in Suffering
by Sarah Reinhard in Faith on Sunday, September 12, 2010 12:05 AM
For some reason, I remember the sun shining through the car window. Though it was a cold January morning as we drove home from Mass, the sun was glaring, burning me through the windshield as I sat beside my husband and his cell phone rang.
Two calls later, our family was forever changed. Nothing would ever be the same. It still isn’t.
My devotion to Mary as Mother of Sorrows became deeper that January day when my brother-in-law died unexpectedly. Though I had always felt a pull to that particular title, it wasn’t until I began a journey from the foot of someone else’s cross that I began to really appreciate Mary’s comforting talents.
The Hand in Mine
Over the last nine months, I have watched the pain in our family gestate and change. I have observed phenomenal support from siblings and friends, strangers and prayer warriors.
During that time, which included the beginning of a health challenge with our five-year-old that we still face today, my devotion to the Sorrowful Mother deepened and expanded through two devotions: the Rosary of Tears and Mary’s Seven Sorrows. Since the feast of Our Lady of Sorrows is September 15, I wanted to share these devotions here so that you could explore them.
The Rosary of Tears
Mary appeared to Sister Amalia in Campinas, Brazil with a white rosary made of 49 small white pearls, divided by seven large white pearls into seven groups of seven. On each of the large beads, the prayer “O Jesus, look upon the tears of the one who loved You most on earth, and who loves You most ardently in heaven” is prayed. Then, on the small beads, pray, “O Jesus, listen to our prayers, for the sake of the tears of Your most holy Mother.”
I’ll admit that I don’t have this devotion memorized quite yet, but then, it took me years of Mass attendance before I wasn’t reading the Nicene Creed in Mass. I find the audio version helpful.
And, really, whether I have the prayers memorized or I’m still learning them after the 20th time, my intention remains close to God and, I can’t help but believe, close also to His Mother.
Mary’s Seven Sorrows
The devotion to Mary’s Seven Sorrows is very similar to the Rosary of Tears in that it’s composed of seven groups of seven. It’s based on the seven sorrows Mary endured:
- The prophecy of Simeon (Luke 2:34);
- The Holy Family’s flight into Egypt (Matthew 2:13);
- Losing Jesus in the Temple (Luke 2:43);
- Jesus and Mary meeting on the Way of the Cross (Luke 23:26);
- The Crucifixion (John 19:25);
- Mary taking Jesus’ body from the Cross (Matthew 27:57); and
- Jesus’ burial (John 19:40).
I thought I understood Mary’s sorrows after witnessing my sister-in-law bury a baby. I thought I had seen a family’s grief at its most vulnerable point.
But that was before I watched the same sister-in-law bury her husband.
Mary, I think, understands my sister-in-law’s trial better than anyone else. I think she must stand beside my sister-in-law and nod, tears flowing down her face.
Mary was a widow, after all. And she buried a child too.
In the devotion of Mary’s Seven Sorrows, I find the consolation of touching a corner of the immensity that underlies knowing that people I love have suffered – and will suffer – in ways that I can neither control nor change. When I meditate on each of the sorrows, praying an Our Father and then the seven Hail Marys, I find myself gripping Mary’s hand and offering the small and pathetic sacrifice of my own compassion.
A Mother’s Love
Mary and I may live millennia apart. We may not seem to have much in common – I will surely never be the holy mother she was and is.
But we share a great love, Mary and I. She points me, over and over again, to a Baby in a manger, to a Man in love with the people around Him, to a Body on a cross, to an empty tomb. She convinces me, again and again, that the suffering is not the full story.
She carries me, she hugs me, and she gently guides me to her Son. When I reach for Him, especially every week in Mass, I’m overcome by the gift I’ve been given.
—Sarah Reinhard writes and blogs about Mary, motherhood, and more at SnoringScholar.com.
Resources:
- Information about Our Lady of Tears and free audio download
- Reflections for Mary’s Seven Sorrows
- A brief history of the feast of Our Lady of Sorrows
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