Who Wants a Time Out?
by Tammy Darling in Family on Thursday, September 23, 2010 6:00 AM
In a society that values activity and busyness we need to remember that we are to be in the world not of it; we need to r-e-l-a-x.
In fact, sometimes we simply need to put ourselves in a time-out. Recently I did just that.
One night at the supper table our two youngest daughters were picking on each other. My husband spoke up and asked, “Who wants a time-out?” I promptly raised my hand and said, “I do!” (The look on the children’s faces was priceless).
But it was true. I was losing my peace and joy and knew losing my cool would be next. I needed some time alone with God to refresh. While everyone else helped with the kitchen cleanup, I spent the next thirty minutes in my own self-imposed time-out.
Let’s be honest: some of us don’t even take enough time to get proper rest at night let alone take a time-out during the day. Too often in an attempt to “get it done” we sacrifice our sleep. Few of us know the clarity of thought and level of energy that comes with being fully rested.
It may be that we need to slow down and make a course correction. If we’re going around the track the wrong way, we’re not going to win the race no matter how fast we’re going. The wrong way is still the wrong way; it’s not going to turn into the right way without some changes.
As good as outside activities can be, down time is so important for each family member — Mom included. I am learning to purposefully schedule unscheduled time into each day. And we are all the better for it.
Quietness and simplicity of life is possible. Once we start to avoid the hamster wheel pace of our society, we can begin to find enjoyment in the simplest of things. Keeping up with the Joneses is highly overrated anyway.
I don’t want to just survive the grind of daily life; I want to thrive in the midst of it. By taking regular time-outs, I no longer want to ship my kids off to a boarding school in Europe or take a spontaneous, extended vacation — alone. Frankly, the time-outs keep me sane while enabling me to refresh and refocus.
Sometimes when I realize that I’m not actually enjoying my four children, I know I need to look inward first. Such moments often stem from not having God first in my life. I find that when I’m leaving Him out of the picture I have little time for others as well.
Time-outs are great for getting me out of a routine rut or to combat burnout. While routines and hard work are good and often necessary, let’s face it — sometimes too much of a good thing is detrimental to our overall purpose.
If you’ve ever tried to lose weight by exercising you may have encountered what trainers refer to as a plateau where the weight loss levels off even though nothing significant has changed. Changing your exercise routine by varying your workouts and their intensity often jumpstarts the weight loss again.
If our bodies need this kind of change up, it stands to reason our minds do as well. Stimulating newness in thought and attitude enables us to overcome such plateaus. Time-outs can jumpstart the process.
When you give yourself a time-out, do something that you enjoy that is not work- or child-related. Personally, nothing thrills me more than to pick up a book or magazine and read without guilt or interruptions.
I do this successfully by first giving myself permission to take a time-out because I know it’s beneficial. Secondly, I tell my kids that they can’t talk to Mommy during that time because she’s in a time-out (the rule in our home for a disciplinary time-out). They understand that, so it works beautifully.
The days pass by too quickly as it is. Before I know it my kids will be adults and we’ll no longer be living under the same roof. I want to enjoy the time I have by living in the present, because there will never be another day like today in all of eternity.
Enjoying the journey is a matter of searching for gems among the stones. We find those gems as we search out and create opportunities for warmth and joy in the midst of real life. It’s not the lofty things that bring us real joy, but a right perspective of the ordinary. And sometimes it takes a time-out for us to realize that.
—Tammy Darling writes from her home in Three Springs, Pensylvania, where she also homeschools her four daughters.
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