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Danielle Bean

Danielle Bean
Danielle Bean, a mother of eight, is editor-in-chief of Catholic Digest and Faith & Family. She is author of My Cup of Tea, Mom to Mom, Day to Day, and most recently Small Steps for Catholic Moms. Though she once struggled to separate her life and her …
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Rachel Balducci

Rachel Balducci
Rachel Balducci is married to Paul and they are the parents of five lively boys and one precious baby girl. She is the author of How Do You Tuck In A Superhero?, and is a newspaper columnist for the Diocese of Savannah, Georgia. For the past four years, she has …
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Lisa Hendey

Lisa Hendey
Lisa Hendey is the founder and editor of CatholicMom.com and the author of A Book of Saints for Catholic Moms and The Handbook for Catholic Moms. Lisa is also enjoys speaking around the country, is employed as webmaster for her parish web sites and spends time on various …
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Arwen Mosher

Arwen Mosher
Arwen Mosher lives in southeastern Michigan with her husband Bryan and their 4-year-old daughter, 2-year-old son, and twin boys born May 2011. She has a bachelor's degree in theology. She dreads laundry, craves sleep, loves to read novels and do logic puzzles, and can't live without tea. Her personal blog site …
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Rebecca Teti

Rebecca Teti
Rebecca Teti is married to Dennis and has four children (3 boys, 1 girl) who -- like yours no doubt -- are pious and kind, gorgeous, and can spin flax into gold. A Washington, DC, native, she converted to Catholicism while an undergrad at the U. Dallas, where she double-majored in …
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Robyn Lee

Robyn Lee
Robyn Lee is a 30-something, single lady, living in Connecticut in a small bungalow-style kit house built by her great uncle in the 1950s. She also conveniently lives next door to her sister, brother-in-law and six kids ... and two doors down are her parents. She received her undergraduate degree from …
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DariaSockey

DariaSockey
Daria Sockey is a freelance writer and veteran of the large family/homeschooling scene. She recently returned home from a three-year experiment in full time outside employment. (Hallelujah!) Daria authored several of the original Faith&Life Catechetical Series student texts (Ignatius Press), and is currently a Senior Writer for Faith&Family magazine. A latecomer …
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Kate Lloyd

Kate Lloyd
Kate Lloyd is a rising senior, and a political science major at Thomas More College of Liberal Arts in New Hampshire. While not in school, she lives in Whitehall PA, with her mom, dad, five sisters and little brother. She needs someone to write a piece about how it's possible to …
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Lynn Wehner

Lynn Wehner
As a wife and mother, writer and speaker, Lynn Wehner challenges others to see the blessings that flow when we struggle to say "Yes" to God’s call. Control freak extraordinaire, she is adept at informing God of her brilliant plans and then wondering why the heck they never turn out that …
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Wrongful Birth vs. Right to Life

What Tony Melendez Can teach Us

A Palm Beach jury just awarded a couple $4.5 million in damages in a wrongful birth suit.

Their son Bryan was born in October 2008 without arms and with only one leg.

Their suit was against the mother, Ana Mejia’s obstetrician and sonographer, saying if they had done their jobs detecting the anomaly before birth, that the couple would have had time to abort him.

Mejia and Santana claimed they would have never have brought Bryan into the world had they known about his horrific disabilities. Had Morel and technicians at OB/GYN Specialists of the Palm Beaches and Perinatal Specialists of the Palm Beaches properly administered two ultrasounds and seen he was missing three limbs, the West Palm Beach couple said they would have terminated the pregnancy.

According to the outcome of this trial, it is the duty of the obstetrician to detect any abnormality in time for the mother to abort him. Admittedly it does seem a gross oversight to miss such an obvious abnormality, but I am glad the doctor did miss it, for now little Bryan, who never chose his disability, will have a chance to sing his song in the world. 

I am sure Bryan would rather be alive as he approaches his third birthday. He doesn’t need $4.5 million, just parents who have the attitude that life is what you make of it with what you have, not parents who bemoan what they don’t have and seek someone on whom to lay the blame.

We have become an entitlement society, where if my life isn’t all I wanted it to be, someone other than me is at fault. Then I sue them and live off the damages. No wonder no one wants to be an obstetrician anymore, the malpractice insurance is astronomical, and those who remain in the field often pressure women into prenatal testing and abortion in case they regret their decision to give life to their child and turn on their doctor.

That attitude won’t make Bryan succeed. He needs parents who accept him for who he is, not what he isn’t, and who challenge him to achieve what he can despite his disabilities. Like Tony Melendez.

Tony Melendez was born in Nicaragua in the days when Thalidomide was no longer given to American and European mothers, but was still prescribed to Latin American mothers to curb morning sickness. He was born without arms.

Rather than complain about the unfairness of his condition, which was preventable, his father sought to help his son. Tony’s father brought the family to California to fit him with artificial arms, which he later discarded because he was so much better at using his feet. In high school, Tony learned how to use those feet to play guitar.

Soon, he returned to the Church of his childhood, and began to play at as many as five Sunday Masses. He was selected to play the guitar for the visit of Pope John Paul II to LA on September 15, 1987.

It was as today, the Feast of the Sorrowful Mother.

Tony was nervous when he performed his song “Never Be the Same” about his reversion to Catholicism, but no one was prepared for the Holy Father’s reaction. He rose, jumped off the platform where he was sitting, walked over to the platform where Tony was, and reached up to embrace him. The audience roared its approval. Since then Tony has crossed the world with his singing apostolate, married and adopted several children.

It was my honor to meet and embrace him twice, his joy is contagious, he made me feel like his sister. I just emailed him with a link to this story to ask him to contact Ana Mejia and Rudolfo Santana to give them hope that little Bryan can have a happy, fulfilling life. Tony radiates the peace of Christ, and if anyone can illustrate how to turn one’s life around from self-pity and blame to self-help and service, he can.

From my experience raising my nine year old Christina,  a child with serious cognitive delays and physical disability, yet who greets every day with a smile, I can confirm hat $4.5 million dollars can buy many things to make life with a handicap easier, but a hopeful attitude, can’t be bought, it must be caught. Caught from a living example of a deep personal relationship with Jesus and mentors who don’t take ‘no’ for an answer.I hope Tony Melendez contacts Bryan’s family and becomes that mentor.

I hope that this couple makes a commitment to each other in Holy Matrimony, returns to the Church and brings their son in to be Baptized. With the grace of the sacraments, they can find the peace they were seeking with the lawsuit, and give their son the hope he will need to sing his own song of praise for Our Lord in his daily life.

—Leticia Velasquez is author of A Special Mother Is Born.


Comments

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Tony is an amazing person and witness to the love of God.  I have heard and met so many families with children with disabilities who are also a powerful witness.

This is a sad story for obvious reasons.  It clarifies something for me.  I hear often Catholic moms being upset because their doctors spell out clearly the risks they have in pregnancy and childbirth.  This is the reason why they tell you.  Unfortunately, they have to practice like this or have someone sue them for not telling them a risk and have it occur.

I am puzzled as to how a doctor and an ultrasound tech could miss 3 limbs on an ultrasound (or was it 2 ultrasounds?)  That is one of the main things they look for.  I could see all my babies’ limbs.  I guess that saved the baby’s life as otherwise he would have been killed so it actually turned out well they missed it.

 

I feel sorry for Bryan that one day he’ll know that his parents would rather have him dead.  Tragic.

 

That’s all I can think about too.

 

What really bothers me is that the parents felt that the u/s was basically a tool for them to know if they should abort their child vs be proactive in knowing if their sweet child would need special help after born.  My husband and I always prayed before the u/s that if there were abnormalies, then show us the resources needed to help our child live a happy life. NOT so we could throw the child away. It pains me that if you don’t get the child you think you want or have dreamed up in your mind, whether all limbs and a perfect smile or the gender you want, you can just discard this child. If they don’t want this child, I am sure there are many families who DO.

 

It seems easy to blame and past judgment on the parents.  What if this was the only way to pay for the upcoming medical issues Bryan may have.  So say they may have aborted him had they known is neither here nor there.  They were not given the option.  The fact is, he has a sever physical handy cap.  What if the parents have no health insurance and the way the insurance companies work, Bryan may never be covered.  They would need some sort of safety net.  So before you judge unto others….  get to know the couple!!  And if you want to judge someone, judge the person who put the idea of sueing for money in the parents heads instead!!

 

It is likely he is eligible for gov’t assistance with insurance.  The shriners hospitals as well provide care for free with some of the needs he has.  There are many parents of children with disabilities and high medical costs.  This money should be put into a trust fund and should be used only for his care.  My concern is that the money would not be saved for him.  I worked once with a young woman in a nursing home whose family got a huge settlement from a car accident that left her severely disabled.  All the money and the family disappeared and the gov’t picked up the tab anyway.

 

I always wonder about the people who choose to abort if they find out their child may have a handicap. That child could be perfectly find until 10 when they get in an accident or develop a serious illness or maybe the kid is physically fine and then it turns out they have severe autism. I don’t get what the parents think they’re ducking out of—a life without problems? A child who won’t suffer? Because if they think aborting a baby who may or may not have an issue will get them that, they are going to be seriously disappointed in the “perfect” child they eventually have.

As for suing, I don’t see why they couldn’t sue for malpractice. I mean, I don’t get a u/s not catching the missing limbs and, surely, the baby needed special attention from the moment he was born that would have been better provided had the parents and doctors been prepared. But, seriously, to sue for wrongful birth when one day the kid is going to KNOW his parents wish he had never been born? Wrong.


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