Bonus Room

July/August 2008 Issue | Posted by Lynn Wehner in Bonus Room

Summer fashions can distract from the true inner beauty of the human person. But modesty is the virtue of not calling attention to oneself — either by words or by dress!

Modesty. 1: freedom from conceit or vanity 2: propriety in dress, speech, or conduct (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

“Purity requires modesty, an integral part of temperance. Modesty protects the intimate center of the person. It means refusing to unveil what should remain hidden. …

“There is a modesty of the feelings, as well as of the body. … Modesty inspires a way of life that makes it possible to resist the allurements of fashion and the pressures of prevailing ideologies. …

“Teaching modesty to children and adolescents means awakening in them respect for the human person.”

Catechism of the Catholic Church, No. 2521-2524

Faith & Family Favorites

Living a life of modesty — in dress, mindset and behavior — is tougher than ever. Check out these sources of inspiration for your family ...

Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice (book $7.95

and DVD $19.99 at Amazon.com). “Modesty is about more than dress; it’s about demeanor, as well. Jane is so modest about her affection for Bingley, their rich neighbor, that she nearly loses him. His best friend Darcy convinces him that Jane is not interested. In reality she’s too much of a lady to throw herself at him. Youngest sister Lydia has no such boundaries and ends up eloping with a lying, cheating playboy.”

— Susie Lloyd

“Read Dr. Donald DeMarco’s article, ‘The Virtue

of Modesty’ (CatholicEducation.org/Articles/Religion/re0283.html) that explains the virtue of modesty simply but thoroughly. It’s not just about clothing — or lack thereof.”

— Rebecca Teti

“I love ModestyZone.net, and when my daughters are old enough, I’ll encourage them to visit the site, as well. The women who write and blog there are young, smart, and (yes!) cool. Real role models for real girls.”

— Danielle Bean

“‘I love your outfit!’ That’s what the young Walgreen’s clerk said to my daughter when she ducked in to buy last-minute sunscreen on our way to the beach. What was she wearing? Her swimsuit! The comfortable bathing suits at SwimModest.com are much cuter (and more feminine) than the wet-suit styles out now. Made of Lycra swimsuit material in a variety of Hawaiian prints, these one-piece suits feature capped sleeves and an attached sarong skirt with bike-style shorts underneath. A little more than you might usually spend, but they can also double as a casual summer outfit. They also carry swim shirts for boys.”

— April Hoopes

FIVE Ways to Use FIVE Minutes

Some easy ideas to help inspire a spirit of modesty in your family ...

1. Take a look at the Pure Fashion website (PureFashion.com) with your girls for ideas on how to dress in a way that brings out their inherent dignity.

2. meditate on the words of 1 Peter 3:3-4 — “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”

3. pick one dresser drawer and do a quick clean-out of anything that shortchanges your dignity.

4. around the dinner table, ask everyone to name their favorite movie that highlights modest behavior.

5. lift your hands over your head. Belly or back showing? Bend to touch your toes. See any undergarments? Time for a change!

Well said!

“Modesty: the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it.” 

— Oliver Herford

“It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.”

— Miss Manners

“Modesty died when false modesty was born.” 

—Mark Twain

‘How-To’ Tips

Faith & Family writer Daria Sockey shares, “Mary Sheehan Warren’s book, It’s So You!, ($14.98 at SpencePublishing.com) talks about modesty in the larger context of how to pick fashions that are flattering for one’s body type, coloring, etc. She shares a great message in terms of personal dignity, image, and self-worth, so this book is a stealth method of making modesty palatable to a friend or a teen who bridles at being ‘preached at.’”

Here are a few gems from Mary’s book.

1. “All of your garments should fit you correctly. They shouldn’t be so tight that every curve of your body is accentuated. In other words, your shadow shouldn’t look as if you’re wearing nothing at all. On the other hand, loose clothing adds bulk to your overall appearance. Be sure to wear the right size in all your ensembles.”

2. “Sometimes when one of my toddlers gets a hold of my bra, she puts it on her head. This doesn’t work. … Remember, the brassiere falls into the undergarment category.”

3. “Your body needs clothing now. ... You are just as deserving now as you are when you are 20 pounds lighter. ... Until one is dressed well, fueling confidence and appeal, one can not really make a logical, right-headed decision — like the decision to lose weight.”

4. Honestly analyze your wardrobe. “Take each garment in your hands and reflect upon how well it works with your body type. Check it for color combinations, lines, prints, and textures. Remove anything which does not suit your body type.” 

Win! Win!

This issue’s prize is a collection of Tales of Glory figurines and playmat. Each set contains a 3-inch figurine and mini storybook. The Tales of Glory figurine collection is provided by One2Believe.com.

Congratulations to last issue’s winner,

Susie Komaromi, Jefferson City, Mo.

How to win! Just participate in any of our “Homework” requests throughout the magazine, or send your name, postal and email addresses to Homework —

see page 6 for contact information.

Precious ­ Words

The Naked Truth

After a frustrating day with the kids, I had just finished giving my 2-year-old a bath when she looked at me full in the face and said, “God made me.” Overjoyed that someone had learned something, I smiled to reply when she raised her arms in her fresh, clean innocence and continued, “and nuffin’ else!”

Down on the Farm

The birth of our eighth child was approaching, when my youngest son Luke asked inquisitively,

“Will the baby have clothes on when it hatches?”

The Innies and Outies of Modesty

I explained to our children that “nice” girls don’t show off their belly buttons. One day, our 4-year-old came into the room with just her underwear on and her hand on her tummy. Concerned, I asked if she felt sick. She said she did not, but that she just could not find any clean clothes to put on. “Why are you holding your tummy?” I asked. With a shocked expression she replied, “Because I don’t want to show off my belly button, Mom!”

Final Preparations

My 4-year-old son was very interested in the “last things.” I had told him how we will have our bodies back in the end. He asked me one day, “Do we need clothes in heaven? If we do, I can pack up all my clothes in a suitcase.” Then he asked, “Will my guardian angel keep them safe for me until I need them again?”

Faux Pas

One day my husband and I went to the pool with our little ones. While we were there a woman walked out in her two-piece bathing suit. My 4-year-old son Tom exclaimed, “Mom! Look at that poor lady — she’s in her underwear!” He thought she had forgotten to put on her bathing suit!

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