Disaster … & What Comes After

November/December 2009 Issue | Posted by Susie Lloyd in Features

At Advent and Christmas, the faithful, obedient example of the Holy Family is an inspiration to all families.

Mary and Joseph trusted in God’s plan — even when they faced an unexpected pregnancy, even when they were forced to travel as the time for birth drew near, and even as it grew dark and cold and there was no room for them at the inn. Their steadfast faith did not waver, even when they were forced to flee to Egypt, fearing for their safety.

Many families today also suffer through times that try their faith; they might even be tempted to wonder if God really knows what he is doing.

Here we meet three families who have been through life-changing experiences, but, like the Holy Family, managed to keep their faith and come away stronger because of it.

Pulling Up Stakes

At first it had looked like a plan that couldn’t miss. Bridget Reidell attests that she and her husband Dan felt “called” to move themselves and their baby daughter back to Iowa, near family, despite the fact that Dan had a good job in Ohio and the family owned their own home. To help them get on their feet, Dan’s father, Jerry, offered to let the family live with him.

Jerry had lost his wife to divorce a few years earlier. He was lonely by himself and frequently sad. He was glad to have Dan, Bridget, and Baby Josie for company.

Yet things quickly spiraled out of control. Dan’s job in life insurance wore on him and he soon quit. After months of working at temporary jobs by day and filling out applications by night, Dan became depressed. The family even went on public assistance. They began to regret their move and question the “call.”

Another Loss

Then one evening Jerry came home from a day of heavy construction work and went into the bathroom to take a shower. “All of a sudden I thought I heard a loud thud, like someone falling,” says Bridget. “Dan got the bathroom door open, and his father was lying on the floor unconscious.”

Dan performed CPR while Bridget, holding Baby Josie, prayed frantically. Later that day Jerry died of heart failure in the hospital.

The months that followed brought new heartaches, as Dan, still jobless and now grieving, tried to settle his father’s estate. Bridget turned to St. Thérèse of Lisieux, using a prayer book Jerry had given her.

“When visiting his grave site one day, there in front of me was a bright red rose in a vase,” Bridget says. “It was like God coming down and holding me tight.”

New Life, New Perspective

Not long after that, Dan landed a good job and moved his family to Marion, Iowa. Since then the family has grown — there are three daughters now.

Dan and Bridget have also grown in faith. Bridget explains what God was up to during those long months of sorrow.

“Dan had prayed often prior to our move from Ohio that his dad would not die alone and brokenhearted,” she says. “God made a way for Dan to be with his dad for months before his death, and to be there when he passed from this world to the next.”

He had answered Dan’s prayers.

Difficult Diagnosis

When a routine ultrasound picked up a severe brain defect in Dave and Carmen Krymowski’s second child, doctors advised abortion. The child would probably die anyway, they said. If she did survive she would be in a persistent vegetative state. Either abortion or an institution — those were the options doctors offered.

With the grace of God, Dave and Carmen saw only one possibility. They would not destroy Kathryn Therese, as they would later name her, nor put her in an institution. Her life was a gift from God; they would accept her.

Leaning on Prayer

They started this journey the way all parents should. They asked friends and parishioners to pray for their child. Carmen says, “We did not know what to expect; we were scared. What we did know was that so many kind and caring people were praying for us and our unborn child.”

Particularly inspiring was when the parish offered a Rosary for Katie. It was held in a hayfield soon to be dedicated to a shrine Dave and Carmen had been working on: The Triumph of the Two Hearts. The most difficult time of their lives became one of great spiritual growth.

In November 1997, Katie was born. “Her head deformities were painfully obvious, but she was a beautiful baby,” says her proud mama. “The doctors were so surprised that she didn’t need any medical treatment. She was breathing and nursing on her own.”

Despite these hopeful signs, doctors warned that she would never smile nor recognize her family and would most likely be blind. “Don’t get your hopes up,” was the message. But what if your hopes are in God?

Smile of Soul

One day when Katie was four weeks old, the age when newborns typically start smiling, Carmen looked at her and smiled sadly, thinking of the doctors’ dire predictions.

Katie looked at her and smiled back!

Says Carmen, “She has been smiling ever since.”

Some of the doctors’ warnings came true. Katie is tube fed. She has had her share of seizures and major surgeries. She can’t sit up, talk, or walk. Yet her smile says everything. It is a voice from her soul.

Over the years people have continued to pray for Katie, and she has returned the favor. Countless people, even strangers, have said that Katie reminds them of God’s love.

In spite of their rough beginning, the Krymowskis have also met many extraordinary people in the health care
field — doctors, nurses, and therapists. “Some of them have become family to us.”

One therapist was inspired to adopt a special needs child herself and chose Dave and Carmen as godparents.

God’s Perfect Plan

The Krymowskis have four other children now.

How do the kids feel about all the hardship that comes with having a special sister? She is helping them get to heaven, Carmen says, and they know that. They are learning patience in everyday ways, like not getting to jump in the car and go but waiting for Katie’s wheelchair.

Katie’s older sister Jaclyn once mentioned that she hoped God would send them another special child.

One time, Dave and Carmen took Katie to a healing Mass. As they stood in the midst of so many sick and suffering souls, they looked at their beautiful daughter and said, “We don’t belong here.” Troubled people approached them that day and thanked them for bringing Katie. She smiled at them. They embraced her and for a time forgot their own pain.

Katie’s message to everyone she meets is that life is precious, and the life of the soul is most precious of all.

“All humans are made in God’s image; as such none are imperfect,” says Dave.

Carmen adds that no plan God made is imperfect either. Far from being overwhelmed with the cross God has laid on their shoulders, they now feel overwhelmed by the privilege he has bestowed.

Stricken With Cancer

David and Mary Kenyon did everything right. They worked hard throughout their 25 years of marriage and raised eight children. Anyone who knew them would agree that they were an inspiration. Anyone that is, except Mary herself.

Frankly, she was overwhelmed. Her work-until-you-drop lifestyle had taken its toll. When daughter Elizabeth announced she was throwing her folks a silver anniversary bash, Mary felt like it was just “another chore” on her exhausting to-do list.

Why celebrate anyway?

“Our marriage was stagnant,” she says. “We always seemed to be struggling with bills and babies. Most mornings I practically shoved David out the door.” Oh well, she reasoned, that’s just how it is when you’ve been married for 25 years.

Or is it?

Caring Becomes a Priority

Things changed when David contracted stage IV oral cancer. The sight of this formerly strong man lying in the ICU, connected to tubes, with stitches along his neck, in so much pain, sent Mary into shock.

A feeling of “tremendous guilt” took hold of her. How cold her love had grown — and now she might lose him. “I realized just how much I still loved him,” she says.

Caring for David was now at the top of her to-do list. Relatives stepped in to help with the children, who not only survived, but thrived on the attention. “More importantly,” says Mary, “they watched and learned how much their mother loved their father.”

During the week following surgery when David couldn’t speak, Mary patiently watched while he wrote messages or tried to communicate in other ways.

“Before, I had always waited impatiently for him to get to the point. Now, I searched his beautiful brown eyes for every little nuance of meaning.”

It was during this time of few words that Mary perceived her husband’s own patience with his pain, his gentleness toward her, and his selflessness as he asked about the children.

Never had he looked so attractive to her. She was falling in love with him all over again.

Courting Again

She showed it, too.

She began dressing up for hospital visits. She put on makeup and perfume as if she were going on a date!

From dating him at the hospital, their relationship progressed to courting at home.

Mary made up for lost time as she thought of various little ways to show David her affection, like rubbing his feet. Even the hands-on nursing care wasn’t a chore. She thought of all the times he had done kind things for her and asked nothing in return. Now was her chance to love him back.

Now David and Mary found something to celebrate: David’s recovery and the healing of their love. It was just the two of them, as daughter Elizabeth kept the kids and they escaped on a romantic overnight second honeymoon.

After that, like many hopeful newlyweds, they bought their first home. At ages 49 and 58, their life together is just beginning. C

Susie Lloyd’s latest book is

Bless Me Father For I Have Kids

(Sophia Institute Press 2009).

She writes from Pennsylvania.

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