God Is Stronger Than Cancer

September/October 2008 Issue | Posted by Margaret Berns in Features

By Margaret Berns

When Tina Robbins was diagnosed with co­ lon cancer in the spring of 2006, she didn’t feel afraid or angry. She felt ready to suffer well.

She did not know at that point how very hard it all would be.

The 41-year-old wife and mother of five from Bloomington, Minn., admits, “I thought, ‘Oh, God’s giving me this opportunity to suffer to save souls.’ Well, I was all on board. I’m willing to do that.”

Tina took great consolation from the fact that her diagnosis took place during the Easter octave. “We were already doing the Divine Mercy novena. To be diagnosed in the middle of all this fervent prayer, coming off of all of your [Lenten] sacrifice, youfeeling pretty close to God. I truly thought, he has this great purpose. He’s going to get me through it. It’s no big deal.”

Still, Tina prayed for a miracle.

She was scheduled for a major exam the following Monday — an ultrasound that would determine the breadth of the cancer. The doctor’s main concern was that it had come through the bowel wall and entered the lymph nodes. Tina was praying fervently that not only would the cancer not have spread; it would be gone entirely.

“I was just so sure. Why wouldn’t I be the one for the miracle? I would give all the glory to God. I would shout from the rooftops what he had done for me.” She smiled. “I would be the perfect candidate for a miracle.”

On Divine Mercy Sunday, Tina took part in an entire day’s worth of activities scheduled at her church. She received the anointing of the sick and was prayed over by her pastor with a relic of St. Faustina.

A miraculous healing was not in God’s plan.

“I was very let down when I went to the doctor and it was there,” Tina admitted. “God had not cured me! Why? Now I had to figure it out.”

In a show of faith and bravery, Tina decided at that point that she was still going to be a miracle. She just wasn’t going to be an instantaneous one.

The hardest part of having cancer, Tina found, was not knowing what the day might bring. This dichotomy between having blind faith and fighting off a fear of the unknown became, for Tina, an even bigger cross than the physical suffering that she would later undergo. Be­ fore the cancer, Tina was always the one in control. She liked being informed and she liked having immediate answers. This was different. There were no immediate answers.

She discovered this in the hospital after her surgery. She thought that she would only need to have the cancerous section of her bowel removed, but that also was not to be.

“I woke after surgery and had the [ileo­ stomy] bag. The biopsy results showed three lymph nodes that were infected with cancer; I had Stage 3 rectal cancer.

“That was when it hit me,” Tina continued. “That’s when it hit me that I was really sick — that this was more than I could take.”

Tina says that she entered into a kind of Gethsemane at that point. She was so low she lacked the courage to even say the prayers that had previously brought her so much consolation. At that point, her husband, Tom, prayed them for her.

Her outlook improved greatly once she left the hospital. Being near her family, especially her children, made all the difference. She began the chemotherapy. She dealt as quietly as she could with the sensitivity in her hands and feet, with the nausea, and with the headaches and fatigue. Throughout it all, she prayed.

Tina and her husband chose not to show the children that Tina’s illness was a big deal. “The energy that I had went into making sure that our home life was as normal as can be,” Tina said.

“Yes,” Tom would tell them, “Mommy is sick, but she’s going to be fine.”

Tina began to notice that not a day went by without God making his presence known to her. “He was with me every step of the way. It could be in the form of a phone call, or reading something in a book, or someone just stopping by with something. It was almost eerie. Every time I needed something it was right there in front of my face. I started to think: ‘Has it always been like that and I just never noticed it because I was so wrapped up in living in the world?’”

Tina compares her cancer to a pregnancy in that she had to learn all over again how to prioritize her life and to put God first.

Her faith took the form of a two-part belief: One, God is not going to give me more than I can handle, and two, he is asking this instance of suffering of me for a reason. “Honestly, I am so humbled by his love for me,” Tina said.

Tina completed her treatments in November of 2006 and at this writing is cancer-free. To this day, she still asks the question “Why?” Was there some negative in her life that she needed to change or was the purpose of it all to grow in love of God?

“The fact is that God doesn’t always tell us why,” Tina reflected. “He will not always let us see the fruits of our sacrifice and suffering. Still, we must give it to him in faith.”

Margaret Berns writes from St. Paul, Minnesota. She is a mother of five and writes about the joys and challenges of her vocation at PatentsGirl.blogspot.com

Coping With Cancer: a Practical Guide

Before the cancer, Tina’s primary apostolate was helping fellow moms who’d had a baby. Now her focus has shifted somewhat: “When I hear that another woman has been diagnosed with cancer, I’m there. It’s like suddenly we’re in our special club together,” Tina said with a laugh. “I’m there to say, ‘You can do this. This is not the end.’ ”

Here are the things that Tina says helped her the most throughout her treatment:

Rely on others ­

Tina has always been a go-getter in matters of both the faith and her family. For this reason, she initially found it very difficult to let people help her. Her friend Cathie finally told her point-blank, “Look, we cannot be the hands and feet of Christ on earth if you don’t let us.” Finally, Tina understood.

Be Humble — ask for help

Not only do you have to accept help when it’s offered, you sometimes have to solicit it yourself. “It is ‘typical me’ to not want to ask people to help me,” Tina admitted, “because I had always been the one who swooped in and took care of others. You have to be humble. You have to ask for help when you need it.”

When Tina’s parents heard the news about her diagnosis, they immediately wanted to drive up from Tennessee to help her. Tina told them to wait until she knew more, but they came anyway.

“I am so glad they didn’t listen to me!” Tina said. Having Grandma and Grandpa there really helped.

Involve the Kids

When the doctor told Tina that she would be receiving 12 chemotherapy treatments, she and her children sat down together and drew a large tree on a poster board. The tree had 12 branches — one per treatment — and the week before the treatment Tina would pick someone to pray for and write that person’s name down on a branch.

Receive the Sacraments

Tina made it a point to receive the sacraments as much as possible. She was committed to going to Mass on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays throughout her treatment, a habit she says sustained her.

Keep a Journal

She also kept a prayer journal, in which she could pour out her supplications and complaints to God. She got into the habit of asking for her daily bread — every single morning.

Don’t Obsess

Tina strongly cautions against spending too much time on the computer researching your disease. There’s too much conflicting information out there. Trust your doctor and rely on the Holy Spirit to guide you.

Keep Hope Alive

One of the most helpful bits of advice that Tina received was from a friend and fellow parishioner, Jeff Berg, himself a former cancer patient. His advice came in the form of a sort of mantra: “You need to keep telling yourself: ‘It’s just a cold.’” Over and over Tina would tell herself: “This is just a cold. I can beat this.”

Read Good Books

Berg also brought her a copy of the two books that had helped him maintain a positive attitude throughout his treatment: Love, Medicine and Miracles by Bernie S. Siegel and Getting Well Again by O. Carl Simonton.

To this list, Tina would add the books: The Healing Touch of Mary, by Cheri Lomonte, and Mother Angelica: The Remarkable Story of a Nun, Her Nerve, and a Network of Miracles, by Raymond Arroyo.

Find Joy

in the Simple Things

Finally, Tina says, be thankful. She encourages her friends to find joy in the simple things: flowers, evening walks, reading books, a fire in the fireplace.

“Cancer Is My Angel”­ ­ ­

After being diagnosed with lung cancer last year, Cardinal Paul Shan Kuo-hsi didn’t wait to die. He inspired others to face life with courage.

The retired bishop of Kaohsiung and former president of the Chinese regional bishops’ conference in Taiwan took a “Farewell to My Life” tour of parishes last fall.

“I treated the cancer as my ‘little angel,’” the cardinal said. “It guides me to tell people that we should have the courage to face the challenges at our life.”

Cardinal Shan Kuo-hsi was diagnosed with lung cancer in July 2006. He shared with those he met on the tour that he was shocked with the diagnosis — and with the prospect of having a life expectancy of only four to five months. He said that after his death, his body will be turned into “fertilizer” for the land of Taiwan but his soul will be returned to the Lord.

The Chinese cardinal also praised the heroic example of the late Pope John Paul II, who tried his best to live out the last minutes of his life with dignity.

As part of his tour, he visited a drug abuse center in Taitung and met 300 inmates there Nov. 22. The tour finished at Fu Jen Catholic University in Taipei, where the university offered him an award to honor his love for life.

The Chinese cardinal said he was “very happy to be a witness of the Gospel” at the last stage of his life.

“At first I asked the Lord, ‘Why me?’ When I calmed down, I recognized that it is the will of the Lord,” the cardinal said. “He wanted me to help the others by sharing my personal experience with them.

“And now, I will confirm that ‘Why should it not be me?’ A cardinal does not have a privilege to stay healthy forever!”

— Zenit