No More Guilt!

January/February 2009 Issue | Posted by Tom and April Hoopes in Editor's Note

April: Years ago, I was in an unfortunate car accident. Thank God no one was hurt, but my car sure was — and all the kids (three at the time) were in the back seat.

A week later, Tom and I went to confession on Saturday afternoon.

“Why are you going to confession?” asked my then 4-year-old. “Oh yeah,” she said. “You hit that car!”

Well, no, I didn’t have to confess running into a car, since I didn’t do it on purpose, but her question was a good one: Why do we need to confess? It’s a question we take up in this issue (page 45).

Tom: Our 4-year-old made a mistake commonly made by people who don’t go to confession regularly. They think that confession is all about guilt. Guilt motivates it, and going to confession only increases guilt.

I returned to the sacraments in college, and during my next Lent I gave up smoking. I did pretty well, too. Until Holy Thursday. The desire to smoke got stronger and stronger until that day it finally overwhelmed me. I had a cigarette.

I went to confession the next day, certain that I had just imperiled my eternal soul. In a weary voice, repentant and chastened, I confessed that cigarette to the priest as if I were confessing an unspeakable crime.

He was angry. “That’s not a sin!” he practically shouted. “Who do you think God is? Is that all you have? Go back and examine your conscience!”

“When you’re not feeling holy,” the song goes, “you convince yourself that you sinned.”

One of the great things about confession is that it gives you perspective — and allows you to save your repentance for actual sins, and otherwise move on. It’s as much a gift to the holy roller as it is to the hardcore sinner, because it double-checks the extremism of both.

April: After the Our Father at each Mass, the priest prays, “Deliver us, Lord, from all anxiety …” One way to do that, I think, is to be delivered of guilt. And the way to do that is to go to confession.

Not just “because you’re supposed to,” but because we really do meet Christ there, and he really does enrich and ennoble us with his mercy. Check out “Confession: By the Numbers” for tips you can use in your life and in your efforts to promote this sacrament to others.

Oh, and that 4-year-old of mine? She’s grown up now. Find her first contribution to Faith & Family on page 17.

Tom and April Hoopes, Editorial Directors

P.S. See you at the March for Life! See Rebecca Teti on page 15 for more information.

We have good news: We’re expecting! Pray that all goes well with number eight — due soon.

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