Simply Joyous

November/December 2008 Issue | Posted by Daria Sockey in Features

Between soaring food and fuel prices, many of us might find our Christmas budgets tighter than usual this year. But is that any reason to stint ourselves (and our children) on Christmas joy? Heaven forbid!

We’ve talked to several expert economists — Catholic moms dealing with a single family income and multiple children — to hear how they do it.

Simply Meaningful

Teresa Giorgio of Akron, Ohio, is a mother of nine who has made holiday simplicity a way of life. Teresa has three main goals at this time of year: to nurture relationships, to teach the kids about the Incarnation, and to make sure they have “a grand time.” Her husband is a doctor who is often at the hospital for long shifts, so when the family is together, Teresa wants there to be less unnecessary busy-ness, and more activities that are enjoyable and meaningful.

“On the first Sunday we put up an Advent wreath, which we light at dinner time. We sing ‘O Come, O Come Emmanuel’ — very off-key, I might add,” she says. “That same day we put out our Nativity figures. We try to make this scene attractive and prominent. That’s the only decorating we do in the beginning. We don’t put outdoor lights on the house anymore, mainly because that job fell on my husband. It was a big chore for him and took away from the limited time he could spend with the family.”

A simple but beloved family activity is watching favorite Christmas videos together. “They’re the same ones my husband and I enjoyed as kids: Rudolph, Frosty, The Little Drummer Boy. We all have lots of the dialogue memorized.”

Abundant Blessings

The Giorgios’ focus on relationships applies to extended family and others who are part of their lives. Gift-giving includes a massive amount of homemade cookies, so baking and freezing these is an ongoing Advent activity.

“We try to give cookies to all those who have served us — the mailman, the trash guys, the piano teacher, our neighbors. We must make at least two dozen trays of cookies for all these people.”

Although gifts from Santa are opened on Christmas day after morning Mass, the real highlight of the Giorgios’ home holiday festivities is a Christmas Eve party that includes grandparents, aunt, uncles, cousins, and friends.

“I’m one of six siblings,” says Teresa, “and lots of them live near enough to come. So this is a huge, loud, delightful, and chaotic get-together.” Teresa also mentioned that some years back she and her sisters realized that their gift exchange was getting out of control.

“We adult siblings would draw names, and each kid would draw a cousin’s name. The gifts became very elaborate, and mothers with lots of kids had a huge burden, because we were the ones shopping for eight or nine different cousins’ gifts. We switched to each family picking another family’s name, and getting a relatively inexpensive, whole-family gift, such as a basket with a video or a board game plus edible treats.”

Focusing on just a few favorite activities and low-key decorating has helped keep Teresa sane during the holidays.

“My kids don’t feel deprived. They love the Christmas season. For me, seeing that we celebrate as a family is the greatest blessing. That, plus helping the kids in their awareness of who Jesus is.”

Author’s note: Although Teresa mentioned it only in passing, one of their yearly Christmas Eve guests is a mentally disabled gentleman from a nearby group home. “Louie” has no family, so every year the Giorgios supply his need to be “home for the holidays.” There can hardly be a better way to teach children to share the love of Jesus.

Savvy Shopping

Christina Watkins of Oxford, Conn., is a mother of nine. She has developed a few strategies to deal with her gift budget.

“Use the Internet wisely, anticipating what a child might ask for and shop around on eBay, Amazon.com, or Half.com. Little kids can’t distinguish between new and gently used. Besides, you can find plenty of brand new merchandise on these sites, as well. The Internet is especially valuable when it comes to DVDs and CDs. Many sellers offer free shipping for large orders, so place an order that will cover several children.”

Christina’s kids want to give one another special gifts each year, but their family can’t dole out large allowances, and so far the four teenagers’ opportunities for part-time income have been limited. She has had success in encouraging older children to wrap and give treasured possessions to younger siblings who have long coveted them.

Another strategy that has worked for Christina is to accumulate a number of small gifts ahead of time and let younger children buy them from her — sometimes at a discount, if the child’s funds don’t quite meet the full price.

“They still get the feeling of having bought something really cool for a sibling, and I want to encourage that eagerness to give.”

This approach also saves on the gasoline and time needed to take each child on a separate shopping trip in town.

Sibling Revelry

Amy Dea of Templeton, Iowa, found another way her children could give to one another throughout Advent that would cost nothing but time and love.

“The older children make paper chains for their younger siblings. They make 25 links per younger sibling. They write acts of kindness on these links and sign their names to it. For example, ‘Make cookies with me — Camille.’ ‘Play hide and seek with me — Katherine.’ The younger children get to redeem one piece of the chain each day. I encourage my children to be close friends, and this is a beautiful way to do it. The big kids like it as much as the little ones.”

True Value

Mary Kolakowski of Canton, Ohio, mother of six, found it necessary to cut down on expenses several years ago when her husband took a cut in pay.

“We had always put on a very lavish Christmas for the kids, so I worried about how the kids would take it when they didn’t get as many fancy presents as in previous years. I sat down with the three oldest to help them understand the situation, and was really surprised at their reaction. Basically it was, ‘Mom, we can’t recall half the stuff we got last year. That’s not what’s important.’ It turned out to be all the small family customs and traditions — things that didn’t cost much at all — that really mattered to them. The Advent calendars, our custom of placing bits of straw in a manger to represent good deeds, or just sitting by the lit-up tree in the evening with all the other lights in the house turned off. They surprised me by saying how much it meant to them when we delivered gifts to neighbors and friends personally, singing carols as we knocked on their doors. Best of all, they described giving gifts to each other as being just as exciting as getting stuff for themselves.”

Mary felt reassured, yet she still wanted to see a huge pile of presents covering the living room floor on Christmas morning.

“I just loved the magical sight of all those shiny packages. Since the kids told me it didn’t matter what was actually in most of those boxes, I felt free to fill lots of them with extremely inexpensive items. A lot of the younger kids’ toys come from thrift stores and garage sales. Or I might wrap up boxes of each child’s favorite store-bought snack food, and give each teen a six-pack of pop. Plus I’ll wrap up extra supplies of socks, underwear, and school supplies that they’ll need anyway. They each will get a couple pricier items from their wish lists, but the quantity of these less expensive gifts maintains that eye-popping display I want them to see when they come down the stairs.”

­ “Fear not!” Jesus reminds us, “I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). Compared with the wonder of God coming to live among us — how can anything else keep us from the holy fun, the holy hilarity, and the holy joy that this season demands of us? If the passing woes of the economy or an uncertain political climate are getting you down, make this carol your theme song this year:

“God rest ye merry, gentlemen — Let nothing you dismay. Remember, Christ our Savior was born on Christmas Day!”

Inventive Advents

O Joy!

Patsy Urbanovsky of Lincoln, Neb., and her family focus on the O Antiphons, which appear in the daily Liturgy from Dec. 17-24.

“Each one highlights a different title of the Messiah. I made eight table top ‘tents’ from folded card stock. On one side is written the date and the antiphon. O­ n the back is the verse of ‘O Come, O Come Emmanuel’ that corresponds with the antiphon. ­ When we light the wreath at dinner time, we have the words, so it is easy to read and sing. We also try to do something fun to represent the antiphon. For O Root of Jesse, we serve root vegetables at dinner. For O Key of David, we get key lime pie for dessert!”

Lights Out

The Church’s liturgy calls for the season of Advent to build toward the glory of Christmas gradually, rather than all at once. For example, the third Sunday of Advent is called Gaudete (Rejoice!) Sunday. We light a pink candle because Christmas is getting closer. Many families don’t turn on their outdoor light displays or put up Christmas trees until this day. Another good choice for turning on all the lights — if you can wait that long — is Dec. 22, when the O Antiphon is “O Radiant Dawn, splendor of Eternal light, come shine on those who dwell in darkness and the shadow of death.”

Cheap Thrills

If you don’t have an anthology of classic Christmas stories, get one. Or get several. Check your local library for starters. The best anthologies have a pleasing mix of sacred and secular stories. Read one aloud for the whole family every night you have a chance, or have a story marathon every Sunday afternoon from Advent through Epiphany. One not-to-miss story is “Christmas Every Day” by William Dean Howells. Hilariously funny and a good lesson on the evils of materialism.

Get online

Catholic blogger Mary Ellen Barrett has put together this one-stop shop for Advent and Christmas prayers, customs, crafts, trivia, best holiday story books, and more. She also gives links to just about any other seasonal resource you might need. Check it out at ONightDivine.com

Christmas novena

Here is a traditional and very short daily Advent devotion for the family. Add it to grace before meals or daily family prayers. Each individual can choose their own intention, even if it’s just to get that one special Christmas gift.

Hail and blessed be the hour and moment in which the Son of God was born of the most pure Virgin Mary, at midnight, in Bethlehem, in piercing cold. In that hour, vouchsafe, O my God! to hear my prayer and grant my desires, through the merits of our Savior Jesus Christ, and of his Blessed Mother. Amen.

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