—Daria Socky

14 - St. Maximilian Mary Kolbe

In late July of 1941, at Auschwitz, when 10 men were selected for starvation, St. Maximilian Kolbe volunteered to take the place of a family man in the group. He died on Aug. 14 by lethal injection after three weeks of starvation. In 1982, in the presence of the man that he replaced, St. Maximilian Kolbe was canonized by Pope John Paul II, who declared him a martyr of charity.

• Reflect on St. Maximilian Kolbe’s words: “The most deadly poison of our times is indifference. And this happens, although the praise of God should know no limits. Let us strive, therefore, to praise him to the greatest extent of our powers.”

• Make (or renew) the Total Consecration to Mary.

See TotalConsecration.com for info and a copy of the prayers.

• St. Maximilian Kolbe is patron saint of the pro-life movement. Pray the Rosary as a family for an end to abortion.

— Maryan Vander Woude

27/28 Sts. Monica and Augustine

St. Monica and St. Augustine of Hippo, mother and son saints, fittingly have feast days back to back. St. Augustine, through his mother’s prayers, not only converted but also became a bishop and doctor of the Church. One symbol for St. Augustine is the flaming heart. Serve a flaming heart ice cream cake for dessert:

What you need:

One heart pan (check Wilton.com)

2 quarts of strawberry ice cream, slightly

thawed

1 cup crushed chocolate cookie crumbs

Sliced strawberries or cinnamon Red Hots

Whipped cream

Line the heart-shaped pan with plastic wrap. Using a spatula, press the ice cream into the pan and smooth. Sprinkle the crushed cookie crumbs on top. Cover with foil and freeze overnight (or at least a few hours). Flip cake and carefully unmold. Use a spatula to smooth any rough spots. Top with a dollop of whipped cream and use sliced strawberries to make the shape of a flame on top — or for the really daring, use cinnamon Red Hots.

(Adapted from Wilton.com)

— Maryan Vander Woude

More Faith and Family Days in July

4 - Independence Day

16 - Our Lady of Mount Carmel

Enroll in the brown scapular of

Our Lady of Mount Carmel.

Visit CarmelNet.org for more

information.

25 - St. James

Make seafood tonight in honor of

this fisher of men.

August

More Faith and Family Days in August

6 - Transfiguration

Say the Luminous Mysteries of the Rosary today.

15 - Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary

Holy Day of Obligation. Go to Mass with ‘Our Lady.’

22 - Queenship of the Blessed Virgin Mary

Say the Glorious Mysteries of the

Rosary today.

Party poopers

It’s summertime, and the living isn’t always easy. What if you are dreading a politically-charged family reunion or your schedule of “relaxation” is completely crammed with obligations and activities? Readers asked Dr. Meredith Gould, author of The Catholic Home: Celebrations and Traditions for Holidays, Feast Days and Every Day (Doubleday), for advice on handling sticky situations with Christian grace and style.

Homework: Dr. Meredith wants to hear from you. See page 6 for contact information.

Political Peacemaker

Q:Dear Dr. Meredith,

This summer, we’ll be at­ tending a large family reunion in another state. aI know we’ll be spending time with relatives whose political views are very different from our own. With a husband who is a political junkie and many outspoken relatives, I’m worried that some conversations might get a bit too heated. Can we stand up for what we believe is right and still be courteous, or should we just keep our mouths shut?

— Political Peacemaker

­ A: Why do the rules of common civility and proper etiquette fly out the window whenever family is involved? Familiarity, it seems, breeds contempt. Topics that in any other social situation would be graciously side-stepped are, at family events, tackled without protective gear. You, at least, are stopping to think before leaping into the family fray. Bless you!

Can you “stand up” for what you “believe” and still “be courteous”? Probably not. You give no indication that either you or your “outspoken relatives” enjoy a good verbal romp, one that mutually and respectfully acknowledges different viewpoints. Nor does it seem as if there’s any interest in having conversations that might be organized around understanding different viewpoints.

There’s precious little possibility of courtesy as long as you come from a perspective of defending your beliefs against attacks real or imagined. In fact, courteousness might even be impossible, given the fact that you’ll be at a family reunion where everyone is guaranteed to regress into whatever role they were assigned by age three. Being away from familiar, comfortable surroundings is an additional stressor.

Yes, keep your mouths shut, but even that is a wee bit problematic.

I know that according to Genesis 2:24 we are, in marriage, directed to become one flesh, but I suspect that the only mouth you may truly keep shut is your own. But what you can do with your husband is agree that you’ll both make every effort to see Christ in everyone. And if that doesn’t work, agree to see everyone through the loving eyes of Christ who sees the best in everyone.

Stressful Summer

Q: Dear Dr. Meredith,

My goal for my family this summer is to have an easy schedule so we can have a relaxing time off from school. However, I receive so many invites to camps, barbecues, girls’ nights out, sporting events, etc., and I end up saying Yes to everything. Now my goal is going out the window. How do I learn to say No to all these great invitations?

— Stressful Summer

A:Dear Stressful Summer­,

I’m so glad that your question is about learning to say No.

Women as a general category and moms in particular seem nearly incapable of uttering this powerful little word. We don’t seem to be taught how to do this early on, and far too many of us end up learning the hard way that we must say No.

Some of us will jeopardize our physical, emotional, and spiritual health before learning this. It may feel like an even bigger challenge when we must decline serving church or community. And so, learning to say No can have far-reaching consequences. Positive ones!

Prayer is a must, of course. I’m thinking about the first two sentences of a traditional prayer to the Holy Spirit, a copy of which I keep on my desk: “Come Holy Spirit, enkindle the fire of your love. Transform all that is fearful into boldness of heart.”

Armed with that, I recommend adopting the cognitive therapy technique of writing out all your unstated thoughts about saying No, and then taking a bold look at these thoughts.

More specifically, I urge you to set aside some quiet time to write out (preferably by hand) all your automatic responses to this question: What do I think will happen if I say No to these invitations? Next, looking at all your responses, answer this question: And if that’s true, so what?

Do this honestly and you’ll discover which fears need to be transformed into a boldness of heart that will “let what you say be simply Yes or No” (Matthew 5:37).

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